Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. Do you agree or disagree

In recent times, we have been approaching a cashless society

that is

Linking Words

more easy

Correct word choice

easier

show examples

and

safe

Correct word choice

safer

show examples

for citizens and is

near

Correct word choice

show examples

to replacing cash and coins totally. I totally agree with the fact that

this

Linking Words

transformation is safe and convenient

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, it is difficult for a few groups in our community to process

such

Linking Words

digital transactions. First of all, thanks to the disruptive technology of online banking

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

has made it quite easy and secure to use our funds. People are

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

no longer required to rely on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

note

Fix the agreement mistake

notes

show examples

and protect

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

all the time at home or outside the house.

In addition

Linking Words

, internet banking saves a lot of time in busy working schedules, by not

being required to meet

Wrong verb form

require meeting

show examples

a person or an authority to exchange payments.

Also

Linking Words

, it saves our in-person shopping hours by providing digital shopping in our

comfort

Check wording

homes

show examples

. A perfect example is our monthly wage

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

we receive electronically without our time being wasted by going to the bank with a cheque.

Thus

Linking Words

, online transactions have

progressed

Verb problem

improved

show examples

security in terms of finance.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are still a few poor and

old-aged

Use the right word

elderly

show examples

groups in our society who find it hard to understand the functioning of online transfer. The illiterate

labour

Use the right word

labourers

show examples

in a country

receives

Correct subject-verb agreement

receive

show examples

a small amount of daily wage

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

can not be saved in a bank account, and tend to use notes for their expenses.

Moreover

Linking Words

, senior citizens who have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

low gasping intellect to understand the system of internet processes face difficulty

flowing

Verb problem

keeping

show examples

Linking Words

along

Change preposition

show examples

with the trend,

therefore

Linking Words

inclined

Verb problem

are inclined

show examples

to use wealth in currency form.

For illustrating

Change preposition

To illustrate

show examples

this

Linking Words

, my grandfather didn't choose an online system to manage capital because he thought it was a confusing way of transaction.

Hence

Linking Words

, it seems that there will be some groups in society that will prefer to do

notes

Fix the agreement mistake

note

show examples

exchange rather than online.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

digital banking has

peaked

Verb problem

been around

show examples

for years, it is being resisted by many folks.

However

Linking Words

, the developing technology would eradicate

such

Linking Words

problems and make it even more accessible and suitable for every group in various regions to handle it.

schoudhary.sc10

Jul 25, 2022

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overall

Your task response shows a view but needs a clear main idea in the intro and a stronger end.

coherence

Make your ideas flow better. Plan the essay, and use a lead sentence for each paragraph to link to the prompt.

examples

Give more clear, real examples to prove your points; add two or three points that show why cashless can help and what can go wrong.

language

Use simple, right words. Avoid long or odd phrases and fix errors in spell or use.

position

You show a clear stance that many will move to online pay.

structure

You end with a clear 'To sum up' line to close your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cashless
money
coins
notes
cards
bank
payment
safe
easy
fast
online
shop
pay
people
old
poor
rural
internet
device
risk
crime
hack
data
private
info
policy
mix
cash
help
teach
support
access
emergency
system
growth
cost

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?