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Band 3.5

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #development #progress
A nation's growth may depend on several factors, but others are convinced that the government should invest and educate more in Science. I believe that
this
 is an important subject as well, but there are other issues that the state can place their finances in. Each
country
 differs from one another and manufactures different products according to its location, skills, and speciality.
This
 may vary from agriculture, entertainment, technology, and many more.
For example
, Korea nowadays mostly earn from their entertainment industry featuring idols and television dramas.
Therefore
, they put more of their money into music and arts
such
 as singing, dancing and acting. Another
country
 would be Japan
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prioritize
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 finances on technology
such
 as robots and cars.
Therefore
, an administration should be funding more of their
country
's strong suit. Unfortunately,
this
 is not applied to the Philippines, whose products
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 mainly in agriculture. The government should increase its efforts in supporting farmers with their products and push
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for export.
This
 way, more money can come into the
country
 to help its development. To conclude, Science is just one of the subjects the government can invest in, but there are other subject matters that can help with the advancement of a
country
such
 as arts, music and many more.
Submitted by theresemgsbina on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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