IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
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It is widely believed that getting placed in a job role of their own personal interest is an ideal way. Whether people enjoy a better career
life
Use synonyms
 who choose to
Correct your spelling
follow
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fallow
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follow
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 their dream rather than changing profession frequently is a debatable question. From my point of view, I agree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the former statement because people might not feel guilty at any point, as the career is solely responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
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 their own vision and goals.
First
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 and foremost, working on a dream for several years help individuals to build determination and
will power
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willpower
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 to achieve heights in their professional
life
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 as well as In their personal
life
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. To explain
further
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, setting a goal right after graduation and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 on it to upskill their talents rather than letting the detrimental effects to Induce impact
on
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apply
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them,
instead
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 it
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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 their confidence and provide them with experiences to tackle hardships in their path to success.
Moreover
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, years of experience in the same area not only open new doors but
also
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 provide a better image of the field as a whole.
Therefore
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,
such
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 talented ones can easily fit in a place that satisfies them.
Secondly
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, even though if the person
find
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finds
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 difficulties in coping
up
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apply
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with the subject for a longer duration to be employed in a satisfying position, the determination and the environment will continuously support them to a greater extent. To. make it more clear,
for instance
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 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of a photographer, consistent practice and skills he
persued
Correct your spelling
pursued
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 from practical lessons and from experts always have a potential benefit for them to move
further
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.
Moreover
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, at the end of the day, they can peacefully rest realising that they are finding plausible measures for solving complex situations in their
life
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 to become a successful person.
Hense
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Hence
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, they can acquire a better position
in
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at
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professional
Correct article usage
the professional
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 level who do not get forced to put up with an unsatisfied
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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. To conclude, persons who prefer to work
for
Change preposition
in
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 a job field for a very long time not only bring benefits to their career
life
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 in their personal
life
Use synonyms
 as well .
Submitted by balnuramangeldy on

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