Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, it is undeniable that

video

Use synonyms

games

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are playing a key role in a large number of people's lives, particularly kids. Some see that they should be highly appreciated because, for ages, they have been really useful to children,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe that they are incredibly disadvantageous and playing

them

Change preposition

with them

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has been a big issue that must be solved and alleviated. In my opinion, I see that playing

video

Use synonyms

games

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has a lot of pros and benefits despite it might have been only negative online activity for a long period. On one side, there are several reasons why many people tend to opine that

video

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games

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are beneficial and help their children to mitigate a

big

Correct word choice

large

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number of problems. The prominent one is the improving the body state generally, as they develop both the mental and physical health, and

also

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a lot of parents use them to get rid of their kids as long as they can.

In addition

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, they improve the mentality by broadening the horizons of gamers

along with

Linking Words

the advantage that they help make the time run out faster.

For example

Linking Words

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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, whenever I feel bored and need to let the time

goes

Correct subject-verb agreement

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more quickly, I just stay for hours on an electronic playing or match.

On the other hand

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, some believe that kind of playing is so harmful and detrimental, even for parents and children. They mainly see that it ruins and damages social life, as gamers are often spending their whole day on a game.

For instance

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, when I was younger, I used to play for around 6 hours per day, and

as a result

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, I could not spend any time with my family and relatives. I mean it wastes a lot of hours. So I suppose parents should take a serious step towards

finishing

Verb problem

preventing

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue from existing among youngsters. In a nutshell, As far as I am concerned, I believe that

video

Use synonyms

games

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are really beneficial, even though there are some little disadvantages

such

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as ruining the studying of school subjects. Personally, I see that their benefits are far greater than their drawbacks.

Submitted by mamerm77 on Thu Aug 04 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to clearly present the main points and arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear opinion.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments and ideas.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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