IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Employers should give staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#employers #staff #four #weeks #holidays #year #employees #jobs
The main authority of
organisation
Correct article usage
the organisation
show examples
 should provide at least 28 days
Change preposition
of
show examples
vacations
Fix the agreement mistake
vacation
show examples
 to their workers.
In addition
 to
this
,it is
ponder
Wrong verb form
pondered
show examples
 that it may be beneficial for the industry owner because their labour would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 at their job.
However
,sometimes world load would be increased and it is unable to handle with less
staff
,it would decrease the interest of
staff
.
Although
,I disagree with the notion and I will share my views in the upcoming fragments. To commence with,in the gadget era the need
machine
Change preposition
for machine
show examples
 parts and productivity would dramatically increase due to excessive use of products in business and daily life routine.To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,if the workers of the company would be on leaves
then
 it is impossible to manage with less worker ratio because
pressure
Add an article
the pressure
show examples
 will be increased on them.
For example
,in 2021,as per
report
Add an article
the report
a report
show examples
 of factory
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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, less than 80%
industries
Change preposition
of industries
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed because
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the high productivity they do not have
staff
 for production.
Thus
, the leave system may be managed properly.
Furthermore
,the
staff
 of the company need to show their interest in their working routine.But when they came back from their leaves they do not have engrossment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 work.
In other words
,a worker
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 correctly when he
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
 to work in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way so that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production will not decrease.
For Instance
,as per
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychologist
Add a comma
,psychologist
show examples
 Winey Garg’s data 95%
factories
Change preposition
of factories
show examples
 will fail due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of attentiveness in their job title.
Hence
,the heed of labour would up and down the progress of the employer’s industry. To conclude
this
,the leave system should not be disregarded.Yet,it should be managed in a systematic way.
Submitted by workhasdone on

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