IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

#employees #contact #staff #times #holidays #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph shows the number of
money
Use synonyms
 people spent on
health
Use synonyms
, energy, space, general
science
Use synonyms
 and other things from 1980 to 2008. Obviously, most people tended to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
health
Use synonyms
 care.
In contrast
Linking Words
, general
science
Use synonyms
 seemed to be much less appealing because the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
this
Linking Words
 area was the lowest. In 1980, about 8
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 were used for improving or maintaining
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure was slightly higher than approximately 8
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 spent on space and other aspects of life.
In addition
Linking Words
, 5
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 were taken to pay for the energy bills, which was far higher than 3
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 spent on general
science
Use synonyms
. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 used for
health
Use synonyms
 care peaked in 2004 at 23
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 decrease to below 20
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, but it was still the most enormous
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 used in that year.
Money
Use synonyms
 spent on space rose to nearly 10
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, followed by around 6
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 the figure for energy. Meanwhile, the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 with around 5
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 was spent on
Add an article
the
show examples
general
science
Use synonyms
 and other things.
Submitted by rain782260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: