Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

#parents #amount #violence #video #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities #be #children

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Most parents feel discontent with the

level

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Correct your spelling

violence

violece

Correct your spelling

violence

video

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games

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, television and leisure

activities

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This

Linking Words

could be a deep negative influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

because violent

games

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negatively influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, and the most viable solution is to set stronger regulations on the

level

Use synonyms

of violence

allow

Add the particle

to allow

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

One

show examples

Correct your spelling

One

show examples

of the main issues about playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

is that

children

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

tent

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tend

show examples

to imitate behaviours observed

Change preposition

show examples

the

games

Use synonyms

. Another thing, The

level

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of violence in these

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

untolerable

Correct your spelling

intolerable

because some of them include

fireguns

Correct your spelling

fire guns

and obscene words that later on

are pronounce

Change the verb form

are pronounced

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them. More

importantly

Add a comma

,importantly

show examples

is that

children

Use synonyms

do not differentiate what is fiction or what is reality.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

some of them get hurt by replying

scenes

Change preposition

to scenes

show examples

watched on the videos.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the

Unites

Correct your spelling

United

show examples

States

Add a comma

,States

show examples

there have been seen

mutliples

Correct your spelling

multiples

multiple

cases in which

children

Use synonyms

get into their parents' room and find a gun, so

this

Linking Words

situation

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

believe that they can start shooting all over the place without

Correct your spelling

consequences

consecuences

Correct your spelling

consequences

. Unfortunately, many of them

has

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have

show examples

died. The most viable solution is that the

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

set higher

restrinctions

Correct your spelling

restrictions

for people who made these

games

Use synonyms

to avoid explicit scenes, words and

Correct your spelling

aggression

agression

Correct your spelling

aggression

implied

Change preposition

show examples

these

games

Use synonyms

. More importantly, it is vital

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

careful

Change preposition

about

show examples

how the game' s

activities

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are presented to decrease the

level

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of violence

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show examples

these recreational

games

Use synonyms

or programs. On top of

this

Linking Words

, the intention of these

activities

Use synonyms

should not be related to

kill

Wrong verb form

killing

show examples

Wrong verb form

searching

show examples

for people or animals to

Correct your spelling

harm

hurm

Correct your spelling

hurt

them because these actions tend to

being

Change the verb form

show examples

seeing

Change the form of the verb

seen

show examples

as normal. To explain

further

Linking Words

, In

California

Add a comma

,California

show examples

the University of Fullerton made a

studied

Replace the word

study

show examples

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

proved that

children

Use synonyms

do not get

Correct your spelling

happiness

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

Change preposition

with

show examples

playing

games

Use synonyms

if these

activities

Use synonyms

are not related on kill or

caught

Wrong verb form

catching

show examples

the opponent.

This

Linking Words

proved that the game

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be related

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

aggression

agression

Correct your spelling

aggression

activities

Use synonyms

if they want to be

Correct your spelling

successful

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

. In conclusion, looking for the right balance of

leissure

Correct your spelling

leisure

activities

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

and

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

approval as healthy

activities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

their boys might be

resolve

Wrong verb form

resolved

show examples

if the

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

put hands on strict regulations for

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Sun Aug 07 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
63
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important.

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic: Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.