Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

Most parents feel discontent with the
level
of
Correct your spelling
violence
violece
Correct your spelling
violence
in
video
games
, television and leisure
activities
.
This
could be a deep negative influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
because violent
games
negatively influence
on
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apply
show examples
children
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children's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and the most viable solution is to set stronger regulations on the
level
of violence
allow
Add the particle
to allow
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
video
games
.
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
On
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One
show examples
of the main issues about playing
video
games
is that
children
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
tent
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tend
show examples
to imitate behaviours observed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
games
. Another thing, The
level
of violence in these
video
games
is
untolerable
Correct your spelling
intolerable
because some of them include
fireguns
Correct your spelling
fire guns
and obscene words that later on
are pronounce
Change the verb form
are pronounced
show examples
by
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apply
show examples
them. More
importantly
Add a comma
,importantly
show examples
is that
children
do not differentiate what is fiction or what is reality.
As a result
of
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
some of them get hurt by replying
scenes
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to scenes
show examples
watched on the videos.
For instance
, in the
Unites
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United
show examples
States
Add a comma
,States
show examples
there have been seen
mutliples
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multiples
multiple
cases in which
children
get into their parents' room and find a gun, so
this
situation
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
children
believe that they can start shooting all over the place without
Correct your spelling
consequences
consecuences
Correct your spelling
consequences
. Unfortunately, many of them
has
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have
show examples
died. The most viable solution is that the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
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government
set higher
restrinctions
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restrictions
for people who made these
games
to avoid explicit scenes, words and
Correct your spelling
aggression
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
implied
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
games
. More importantly, it is vital
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
careful
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
how the game' s
activities
are presented to decrease the
level
of violence
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
these recreational
games
or programs. On top of
this
, the intention of these
activities
should not be related to
kill
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killing
show examples
or
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
for people or animals to
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harm
hurm
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hurt
them because these actions tend to
being
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be
show examples
seeing
Change the form of the verb
seen
show examples
as normal. To explain
further
, In
California
Add a comma
,California
show examples
the University of Fullerton made a
studied
Replace the word
study
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
proved that
children
do not get
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happiness
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
playing
games
if these
activities
are not related on kill or
caught
Wrong verb form
catching
show examples
the opponent.
This
proved that the game
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
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aggression
agression
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aggression
activities
if they want to be
Correct your spelling
successful
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
. In conclusion, looking for the right balance of
leissure
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
for
children
and
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
approval as healthy
activities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their boys might be
resolve
Wrong verb form
resolved
show examples
if the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
put hands on strict regulations for
video
games
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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