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Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries people apply and use credit cards and this lead to debt. Do the advantages outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons where necessary.

#countries #people #credit #cards #lead #debt
In
Fix capitalization
most
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Most
Add an article
the Most
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 geographical
region
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regions
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, folks request and use
bank
cards
 and are debited regularly.
Although
 it has helped in enhancing
convenient
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convenience
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 and
reduces
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 the workload of
bank
 staff, it increases criminal activities and poor budgeting
on
Change preposition
for
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 the
Users
.
This
 essay will elaborate
the
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on the
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above listed
Add a hyphen
above-listed
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 point and proffer my opinion as
why
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to why
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 the demerits f
this
 development outweighs
outweighs
Remove the redundancy
apply
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it
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its
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 benefits. To
Correct your spelling
begin
being
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, one of the significant
merit
Change to a plural noun
merits
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 is Convenience.
Users
 of
this
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these
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cards
makes
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make
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transaction
Add an article
a transaction
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 for any purchase without visiting the
bank
. To illustrate, statistics
has
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have
show examples
 shown that 90%Travellers don't commute with much cash since they can withdraw or pay for any product they purchase with their credit
cards
. In
additional
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addition
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, It reduces the
Correct your spelling
workload
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work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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 of bankers, most
banks
Change the noun form
bank
show examples
users
 with debit
cards
 do not visit the
bank
 to withdraw directly from their account,
therefore
, it reduces the number
customers
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of customers
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 they attend to
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on one
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one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
daily
Correct article usage
a dialy
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dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 basis so there experience little stress at work.
Consequently
, the major deficit effects
includes
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include
show examples
 ameliorating the rate of criminal activities and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of proper budgeting. When the
card
 is stolen or misplaced, hackers use it to steal from the owners by leveraging
on
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apply
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the details written on the
card
 to gain access to the account through the internet.
Furthermore
,
Card
users
spends
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spend
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 extravagantly because they are not restricted from making transactions, they tend to buy
spend
Correct word choice
and spend
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 on any attractive dress, shoes and
weavons
Correct your spelling
weapons
 without putting their account balance into consideration.To illustrate, an interview on
a famous blog websites
Correct the article-noun agreement
a famous blog website
famous blog websites
show examples
, explained that
Change the article
a
the
show examples
large number of people
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
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 things they don't need through
card
 transactions. Conclusively,
Correct your spelling
in spite
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of its importance in saving time and reducing stress for bankers,
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 drawbacks in increasing crimes and overspending can not be neglected.
Submitted by adedayoadesewa1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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