IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the one company for their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, it is common to see workers changing their
jobs
Use synonyms
 pretty often,
instead
Linking Words
 of staying just in one company the whole time. I believe that nowadays there are more
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 than in the past, so
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to try different
companies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 think that under good working conditions
companies
Use synonyms
 could keep their employees for longer. Traditionally finding a
job
Use synonyms
 was quite hard,
people
Use synonyms
 had to go around different offices or shops asking for work,
also
Linking Words
 they had to buy the newspaper to find out if there were new
job
Use synonyms
 offers. For that reason,
people
Use synonyms
 used to
kept
Change the form of the verb
keep
show examples
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 their entire careers. Currently, with the advancement in technology and the development in telecommunication, it is easier to find
jobs
Use synonyms
 and have interviews online.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having easy access to
Use synonyms
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
 information
such
Linking Words
 as salaries, positions, company expectations and employee references, offer
people
Use synonyms
 the chance to change their
workplace
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in one click.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
companies
Use synonyms
 that look forward to
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
 their employees for long periods of time, but how could they do that? I strongly believe that employees need motivation and incentives,
such
Linking Words
 as
opportunities
Use synonyms
 to grow in their positions, salary increases, paid holidays, fair parental leave and work flexibility. Given that, workers would have a positive response and they will work harder to keep climbing in the same company. In conclusion, it is known that the variety of
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and the easy access to them is making
people
Use synonyms
 wonder
around
Change preposition
about
show examples
 different
jobs
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is time for
companies
Use synonyms
 to start creating
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 where
people
Use synonyms
 can actually grow and where they can feel that they are valued.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: