In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government have the responsibility to change the situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility #change #situation

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Nowadays, in many nations, overweight problems are a common issue. It is often argued that in many countries,

children

Use synonyms

are suffering from overweight and unhealthy problems. Some individuals think that the authorities have the responsibility to change the situation. I strongly agree with

this

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statement and I think that

along with

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the government, parents have

also

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equal responsibility to fix the issue effectively. I will explain my reasons for it in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, there are many methods to change

this

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problem more effectively. First and foremost, the authorities should ban low-quality ingredients and uncertified materials that are mixed in

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

and beverages

such

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as burgers and rolls.

For example

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, in a recent survey, it can be seen that under 10 years of age

children

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suffering from stomach diseases

due to

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eating street

foods

Use synonyms

Moreover

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, street

foods

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mix low-quality ingredients which are harmful to people and for that reason, they suffer from diseases.

Secondly

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, the government should build more parks and open

space

Fix the agreement mistake

spaces

show examples

for

children

Use synonyms

to exercise in their leisure time, which

helps

Wrong verb form

will help

show examples

them to prevent from overweight problem.

Furthermore

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along with

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the government, parents have

also

Linking Words

the responsibility to fix

this

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issue. To illustrate

this

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, parents should encourage their offspring to take more healthy diets

instead

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carbohydrates

Fix the agreement mistake

carbohydrate

show examples

food, which helps individuals to fit and be more conscious.

For example

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, eating dry and boiled

foods

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increase people's immune system and keep them strong for longer.

Thus

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, eating healthy

foods

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keep

Correct subject-verb agreement

keeps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

more healthy and fit.

To conclude

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due to

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eating a high amount of fast-food beverages people are suffering from overweight problems and unhealthy.

However

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, eating healthy diets and exercising help

children

Use synonyms

to keep fit and healthy.

Submitted by thespoof318 on Sat Aug 13 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one to the next. Consider organizing the essay in a more coherent manner.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their functions. However, the body paragraphs need to be more clearly connected to each other and the overall task.

task achievement

The response provides a somewhat complete answer to the task, but some points are not fully developed. Ensure that all aspects of the task are fully addressed in detail.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government intervention
junk food consumption
physical education (PE)
sporting facilities
subsidies
public health campaigns
balanced diet
parental supervision
nutritional education
meal planning
advertising regulations
socio-economic status
recreational facilities
personal responsibility
health education
long-term consequences
youth-led initiatives

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.