IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q. Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only lead to graduate unemployment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#q #people #country #proportion #university #students #universities #graduate #unemployment
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Education
Use synonyms
 has become a leading training in the world today based on the
advance
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advanced
show examples
 use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology.it is believed that any nation that educates its young one has made a great investment for the future.many
Use synonyms
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 from the university sector because of the increase in the
rate
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 of youthful students while some territory
believe
Change the verb form
believes
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 is a total waste of time that can lead to scarcity of job for students when they are through with school.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will
elabora
Correct your spelling
elaborate
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and
also
Linking Words
 give an outstanding opinion about it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,The
rate
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 of young people who are willing to go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher level of
education
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 increases day by day
that is
Linking Words
 why if
education
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 is provided for them,the government earns from it in the future because without
education
Use synonyms
 a
country
Use synonyms
 will not generate much in
this
Linking Words
 modern world where techno has taken the lead.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,fees made from the higher rank of
education
Use synonyms
 will be a great income to the
country
Use synonyms
,so the higher the no of scholars the higher the income
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
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rate
Use synonyms
 of graduates seeking
for
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apply
show examples
jobs in the labour
market
Add a comma
,market
show examples
 some other
set
Change the wording
sets
show examples
 of people believe that creating room for junior university students are waste of time probably because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of job opportunities in
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
.These set
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prefer to send their offspring to learn a trade in other to be successful in business in the future.
although
Linking Words
 you find out that
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end they still need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educated citizens to run a successful business for them which still makes
education
Use synonyms
 the
first
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
among
amongst
amongs
Correct your spelling
among
 all.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,my humble view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
believes
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 is that leaders of countries should make sure
Correct your spelling
that
that as
that's
thatas
Correct your spelling
that
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 of youthful graduates increases there should be
provision
Add an article
the provision
a provision
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
suitable
show examples
suit able
Correct your spelling
suitable
show examples
 jobs in every sector.
Submitted by Eze.cmary on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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