Q. Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only lead to graduate unemployment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education
has become a leading training in the world today based on the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology.it is believed that any nation that educates its young one has made a great investment for the future.many
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
from the university sector because of the increase in the
rate
of youthful students while some territory
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
is a total waste of time that can lead to scarcity of job for students when they are through with school.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will
elabora
Correct your spelling
elaborate
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
this
issue and
also
give an outstanding opinion about it.
Firstly
,The
rate
of young people who are willing to go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher level of
education
increases day by day
that is
why if
education
is provided for them,the government earns from it in the future because without
education
a
country
will not generate much in
this
modern world where techno has taken the lead.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,fees made from the higher rank of
education
will be a great income to the
country
,so the higher the no of scholars the higher the income
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
rate
of graduates seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs in the labour
market
Add a comma
,market
show examples
some other
set
Change the wording
sets
show examples
of people believe that creating room for junior university students are waste of time probably because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of job opportunities in
such
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
.These set
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prefer to send their offspring to learn a trade in other to be successful in business in the future.
although
you find out that
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the end they still need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educated citizens to run a successful business for them which still makes
education
the
first
Correct your spelling
among
amongst
amongs
Correct your spelling
among
all.
Nevertheless
,my humble view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
believes
Replace the word
belief
show examples
is that leaders of countries should make sure
Correct your spelling
that
that as
that's
thatas
Correct your spelling
that
the
rate
of youthful graduates increases there should be
provision
Add an article
the provision
a provision
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
suitable
show examples
suit able
Correct your spelling
suitable
show examples
jobs in every sector.
Submitted by Eze.cmary on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!