In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Work
Use synonyms
plays an integral role in an individual’s life. In certain nations because of modernization, it is unlawful to refuse any person owing to over-aged owners. I think it is negative growth for organizations provided that they opt for young staff. Freshers can decrease the growth of organizations if they
would be
Wrong verb form
are
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appointed. Rather than choosing professional employees in a workplace, some companies can find difficulties in terms of educating youngsters because freshers are newly introduced to
work
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when they begin their
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
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. To explain it, many large organizations have faced ample obstacles when they have to train a fresher, and sometimes they
mistake
Correct subject-verb agreement
mistakes
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while
Linking Words
doing
work
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.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
issue may spoil a
company
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’s image toward a consumer.
Moreover
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, some problems might be tackled by employers on account of fresher staff. A newly higher person always has less knowledge,
whereas
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experienced multitudes require no training to complete any task in the
company
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without the assistance of any gentleman. If the preference should be given to
trained-man
Correct your spelling
trained men
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, it would be advantageous for industries. Certain health issues can be coped with by over-aged individuals. Recruiting skilled people at
work
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sometimes may be harmful as some oppose that these individuals over 60 might face concentration health diseases,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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can be arduous for an organization to fulfil the full requirement of a customer.
In addition
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, a
company
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has to
also
Linking Words
provide insurance facilities to their professionals.
As a result
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, it can be cumbersome for employees. In conclusion,
although
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young employees can be found easily
for
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by
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a
company
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, they cannot assist the
company
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to fulfil
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in fulfilling
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their needs. Personally, professionals can
work
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excellently which is demanded by industries.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction is vague and lacks a clear thesis statement. Try to provide a clearer and more focused introduction that directly addresses the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are not clearly organized and lack coherence. Focus on structuring your ideas in a more logical and organized manner to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The response provides some relevant ideas but lacks depth and clarity. Try to develop your ideas more extensively and provide clearer explanations to enhance task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • inclusive workplace
  • workplace diversity
  • workforce experience
  • equality in hiring
  • age-related stereotypes
  • demographic changes
  • economic growth
  • social security systems
  • consumer spending
  • non-discriminatory policies
  • bias
  • fair practices
  • retirement age
  • intergenerational collaboration
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