In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #someone #job #age #development

Work

plays an integral role in an individual’s life. In certain nations because of modernization, it is unlawful to refuse any person owing to over-aged owners. I think it is negative growth for organizations provided that they opt for young staff. Freshers can decrease the growth of organizations if they

would be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

appointed. Rather than choosing professional employees in a workplace, some companies can find difficulties in terms of educating youngsters because freshers are newly introduced to

work

when they begin their

carrier

Correct your spelling

careers

show examples

. To explain it, many large organizations have faced ample obstacles when they have to train a fresher, and sometimes they

mistake

Correct subject-verb agreement

mistakes

show examples

while

doing

work

Consequently

this

issue may spoil a

company

’s image toward a consumer.

Moreover

, some problems might be tackled by employers on account of fresher staff. A newly higher person always has less knowledge,

whereas

experienced multitudes require no training to complete any task in the

company

without the assistance of any gentleman. If the preference should be given to

trained-man

Correct your spelling

trained men

show examples

, it would be advantageous for industries. Certain health issues can be coped with by over-aged individuals. Recruiting skilled people at

work

sometimes may be harmful as some oppose that these individuals over 60 might face concentration health diseases,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

can be arduous for an organization to fulfil the full requirement of a customer.

In addition

, a

company

has to

also

provide insurance facilities to their professionals.

As a result

, it can be cumbersome for employees. In conclusion,

although

young employees can be found easily

for

Change preposition

show examples

company

, they cannot assist the

company

to fulfil

Change preposition

in fulfilling

show examples

their needs. Personally, professionals can

work

excellently which is demanded by industries.

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coherence cohesion

The introduction is vague and lacks a clear thesis statement. Try to provide a clearer and more focused introduction that directly addresses the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

The ideas presented are not clearly organized and lack coherence. Focus on structuring your ideas in a more logical and organized manner to improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The response provides some relevant ideas but lacks depth and clarity. Try to develop your ideas more extensively and provide clearer explanations to enhance task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

age discrimination
inclusive workplace
workplace diversity
workforce experience
equality in hiring
age-related stereotypes
demographic changes
economic growth
social security systems
consumer spending
non-discriminatory policies
bias
fair practices
retirement age
intergenerational collaboration

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In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is good to share as much data as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some report is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?