IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

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When choosing a suitable work-for-
life
Use synonyms
 career,
people
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 have different mindsets.It is thought by some
people
Use synonyms
 that the amount of salary should not be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
show examples
 as the key factor to getting a successful job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that only the huge burden of
money
Use synonyms
 can lead
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 direction to a higher position in
life
Use synonyms
 rather than any other responsibilities.
This
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 essay will depict each corner of both sides and explain my own opinion.
To begin
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 with,they do not have workplace happiness if
people
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 give priority to their salaries.
As a result
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,they do not have a chance to earn much more
money
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 since they lack their own interests.So,it is really important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of
money
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.As
a
Correct article usage
the
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 saying goes,'
money
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 in hand cannot buy you happiness, the pleasantest career has an impact on human's liability rather than earning a lot of
money
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 in occupation.All jobs require employees to be responsible for their actions,
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as the doctor might
be had
Wrong verb form
have
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 thoroughness to take care of patients.
On the other hand
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, others argue that nice remuneration is
also
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 a crucial factor for myriad employees in
life
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. The first reason is having a generous salary help worker afford the increasing
highly
Change the word
high
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 living expenses. It is more comfortable to pay daily expenses
such
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 as housing, telephone and petrol creating
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 pressure on independent survival. Another reason is the connection between wealth and material possessions with happiness and success. They claim that satisfying wages might support them to enjoy the convenience described in the
life
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 of a succeeding person
such
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 as living in a smart house and relaxing in a luxury resort.
To conclude
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, there are strong arguments for a satisfactory job.
Nevertheless
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, I maintain my original position that having exited work is more necessary than a nice salary. If we want to improve the best wage,
then
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 promoting experience, talent and responsibility are the best options.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that there is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Additionally, use transitions to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
task response
Focus on fully addressing the prompt and supporting your ideas with relevant examples and details. Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in a clear and effective manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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