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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

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Some companies believe that paying workers extra
money
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 can encourage them to
work
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 harder.
Money
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,
however
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, is not the only motivating factor for them to
work
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 hard. In my view,
although
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money
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 is a very important factor in daily life, it is not for everyone, and there are some other alternatives which will be given in the following essay. There are a couple of reasons why giving employees extra wages might not be the most efficient way. First and foremost, the most important one is that some employees would rather have more free time to enjoy their hobbies,
hangout
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hang out
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 with friends, or travel,
instead
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 of giving them more
money
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,
thus
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, the company should have
an
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the
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 option to trade extra working hours for holidays.
Secondly
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, giving employees extra wages can cause conflict among workers, especially if the company does not have an exact measurement
when
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of when
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 they can get more paid and
this
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 can make management and accounting team have more jobs, which in my opinion is unfair
for
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to
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them.
Money
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,
on the other hand
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, can be an efficient tool to encourage some groups of people to
work
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 harder.
Firstly
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, it
obvious
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is obvious
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 that every employee is working to earn(ed) as much
money
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 as they can, so there is no doubt as to why they are working there. In some
work
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 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to deal with sales,
money
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 might motivate them well and be understandable to other(s) teams in the company, so example for the sales team, if salespeople can close(d) the deal with customers, they can be rewarded with bonuses or commissions. In conclusion, it can be said that employers should use diverse methods to encourage them based on their
interest
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interests
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 and behaviour.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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