In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #crime #images #television #computer #video #games

Crime

pervasive

Add an article

a pervasive

show examples

issue in many countries. Many

people

think that computer

games

and movies which include violent images have a significant reason why

people

commit a

crime

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain why from my point of view

this

statement is not accurate.

First

and foremost, video

games

help relieve stress. A vast majority of employees who are communicating

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

tent

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

to have a lot of stress.

For instance

, after a full shift humans might be devastated and find computer

games

as an irreplaceable cure for their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. I will probably feel anxious and furious unless I killed dozens of zombies. And a situation like

this

is common, many individuals use

games

to escape from the reality.

Secondly

, when it comes to matters of violent movies,

people

suppose that they might make children violate the law.

This

fact,

however

, has been

dicredited

Correct your spelling

discredited

credited

as teenagers with

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

educated parents and

friendly

Correct article usage

a friendly

show examples

environment

Correct your spelling

committing

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime less

Correct your spelling

crimeless

show examples

. Whereas, those who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

deprived

Correct article usage

a deprived

show examples

background are prone to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pep. With

this

in mind, society should more care about bringing law awareness for

such

kind of class. In conclusion, we all can see more

Correct your spelling

violence

violent

violents

Correct your spelling

violence

everywhere including

television

Change preposition

on television

show examples

games

Change preposition

in games

show examples

and even

Correct your spelling

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.

space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.