Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
It is argued that earning more money is an essential factor than having self-fulfilment by engaging as an employee of a company.
This
essay totally disagrees with that statement. I am in view of many people believe that being healthy and self-satisfaction more important than getting highly paid employment. High-paid positions always bear more responsibilities and always try to achieve targets under any circumstances without caring about job satisfaction.
People who work under pressure and have more responsibilities are always paid high wages. They are always target-oriented and never concerned about their happiness. Linking Words
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
kind of situation leads to Linking Words
building up
unrest in the working environment. Even thoughVerb problem
apply
,
any member of an organization performs their duties under disappointment it will cause to reduce the performance of Remove the comma
apply
such
employees Linking Words
as well as
institutional targets achievements. A famous biscuit manufacturing company frequently published notifications for recruiting an officer as their project Manager with a high remuneration package. One of my friends working there confirmed that the post is highly stressful and there is a high labour turnover for the said position.
There are so many factors that affect being healthy, but among these having a good working environment is much more important to have physical and mental well-being. Healthy employees always find new solutions and new ways to achieve their targets and maintain their work-life balance. For, example my own sister worked in a private bank and always Linking Words
spend
a stressful lifestyle. Verb problem
had
As a result
of it Linking Words
finally
she gave up her career. Linking Words
Furthermore
, she has the ability to teach and started to work as a primary teacher with a small package. Day by day she loves her new appointment and recently she said that she is Linking Words
happy
about her new position than in her previous Replace the word
happier
highly paid
post.
In conclusion, many people believe that being healthy is more important than having Add a hyphen
highly-paid
stressful
life with a highly paid job opportunity. Correct article usage
a stressful
Therefore
, employers should draw more attention to bringing a more comfortable working environment Linking Words
while
paying reasonable wages to their staff.Linking Words
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task response
In your response, you have presented clear and relevant examples to support your position. However, your essay lacks a clear position statement in the introduction. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are supported with relevant examples. However, consider using more transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of your ideas.