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Band 4.5

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. Should these new houses be constructed in existing cities or should new towns be built in the countryside?

#countries #population #growth #homes #houses #cities #towns #countryside
Across all countries around the world,
population
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the population
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 tends to increase and
people
 require more
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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. There is a debate whether new
houses
 should be built in existing
cities
 or should new
towns
 be built in the
countryside
. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
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 we will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pros and cons of
this
 statement. The advantages of building more
houses
 in
cities
 are that there are more facilities in terms of career, school and activities for these
people
 who wish to construct in
towns
.
However
, the more building there will be in
cities
, the
more dense
Replace the words
denser
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 will be the traffic jams.
Moreover
, the flow of vehicles will increase, creating more pollution. Inadvertently, for building new
houses
 , green spaces and trees are being removed in the city to accommodate these new infrastructures and eventually more harm is made to the environment. On the other side, building new
towns
 in the
countryside
 will decongest the traffic jam in
cities
 but
also
 it will give importance to
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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such
 as more
tourists
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tourist
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 visits , job opportunities and
also
 commercial development which will boost
up
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apply
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the economy of the town. Definitely, the idea to build
town
Add an article
a town
the town
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 in the
countryside
 will be of good benefit.
However
,
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 perceived as
peaceful
Add an article
a peaceful
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 place for
preservation
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the preservation
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 of green spaces. Some
people
 may disagree
for
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with
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 building
towns
 in
such
 beautiful places as it will destroy
this
 peacefulness and the beauty and origin of these places. In conclusion, the trend of construction of new
houses
 will continue but the authorities will have to ensure that the preservation of nature is respected . I believe that both building
houses
 in the
countryside
 and
cities
 have their advantages and disadvantages, but the most
importantly
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important
show examples
 is where
people
 feel happy to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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