Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportunities are scarce. In which ways does age affect employment opportunities ? how might employers deal with the issue fairly ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience .

#people #first #job #opportunities #age #employment #employers

this

modern city, the young population are always the priority to be affected when work positions are limited. The majority of

people

think young

people

are not working effectively which leads to a decrease in employment

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

for them.

Employers

can provide an

interview

with practical performance in order to reduce the chances that cause missing good

workers

, and treat them equally. Less effective working is the most common public bias that young-aged

people

is facing when they are looking for a

job

. Many company

owners

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to hire experienced

workers

rather than non-experienced

workers

because they consider

workers

who have

experience

Change the article

the experience

show examples

to work faster, and the boss doesn't need to teach them everything from the beginning.

For instance

, I am a massage therapist, and it was difficult to find

workwork

Correct your spelling

work work

work-work

when I am right after graduation because many

employers

thought I didn't have enough experience to treat different conditions. In order to treat every population in the same method, company

owners

can provide an

interview

with practical performance. According to the issues mentioned above, an

interview

is essential to reduce bias.

Employers

can ask interviewers to show their

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

during the

interview

This

can helps

owners

know more about their working techniques. Using myself to be an example again, I had a

performent

Correct your spelling

performance

interview

and

this

cause me to get my

first

job

. I was showing all the techniques and

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

to my employer and I

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appreciated

Replace the word

appreciative

show examples

to have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

the opportunity to avoid being judged by aged bias. To sum up, working ineffectively

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

less

job

experience is the factor that causes the young public to lose their work position. ,

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

employers

can give

people

who

forapply

Correct your spelling

apply

for apply

the

job

interview

to show their knowledge.

This

can helps company

owners

treat everyone fairly.

Submitted by loklok1014 on Sun Sep 11 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportunities are scarce. In which ways does age affect employment opportunities ? how might employers deal with the issue fairly ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience .

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people nowadays choose to remain unmarried. Why are people doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people get into debt by buying thing they do not need and cannot afford. What is the reason for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?