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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagrams depict the different stages of salmon’s life cycle.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
according to
Linking Words
 the size and age of salmon they live in three different places. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
life
Add an article
the life
a life
show examples
 cycle, adult fish shift from
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
 to
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
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river
Use synonyms
, where water flow is slow.
Then
Linking Words
, eggs are
layed
Correct your spelling
laid
played
 between small
stone
Fix the agreement mistake
stones
show examples
 and reeds. Five to six months
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
layed
Correct your spelling
lay
 eggs become fries which are 3-8 cm long tiny fish. After that, they come to the downside of the
river
Use synonyms
 where
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 flow is running fast.
Nearly
Change preposition
For nearly
show examples
 4 years they live
their
Replace the word
there
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 and increase their body length to 12-15 cm before becoming smolts. Smolts move to sea from
river
Use synonyms
. They have been living
approximately
Change preposition
for approximately
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 5 years and convert to adult salmons which are five times larger than smolts.
Then
Linking Words
, they
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 for breading and move to
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
river
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 lay eggs.
Submitted by maheshupd08 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words river with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater streams
  • small pebbles
  • reeds
  • alevin
  • yolk sac
  • nourishment
  • fry
  • grow stronger
  • grow larger
  • parr
  • defined markings
  • estuaries
  • smolt
  • adapt to saltwater
  • ocean
  • full size
  • sexual maturity
  • spawn
  • life cycle
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