IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The six pie charts compare the proportions of how different regions of the globe named, North
America
Use synonyms
, South
America
Use synonyms
,
Europe
Use synonyms
, Africa,
Central
Correct word choice
and Central
show examples
 and South East Asia used
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial, agricultural and domestic purposes.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the areas consumed
water
Use synonyms
 mainly for plantations,
while
Linking Words
 the least for home use. Strikingly, in North
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
, they mainly
water
Use synonyms
 used for industries.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture has consumed over three-
fourth
Correct article usage
a fourth
show examples
 of total
water
Use synonyms
 uses in Africa, Central and South East Asia, with 84%, 88% and 81%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 71% of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption can be seen in South
America
Use synonyms
. The
water
Use synonyms
 usage for
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two purposes in aforesaid countries
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 quite similar.
Europe
Use synonyms
 was the highest industrial
water
Use synonyms
 user
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at 53% , followed
North
Change preposition
by North
show examples
America
Use synonyms
 just below half of total usage.
In addition
Linking Words
, 39% of
water
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 used for agriculture and one-third of it
consumed
Add a missing verb
was consumed
show examples
 for domestic in North
America
Use synonyms
 which was quite equal to
Europe
Use synonyms
 figures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words america, europe, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: