IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Do you agree or disagree?

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Today, most teenagers try to select a job that they like and that pays more.
This
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 essay agrees that a student should pursue a
profession
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 of their
love
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 because
this
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 path will help them become a professional worker.
First
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 of all,
money
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 is important to humanity.
Second
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 of all, men must do their
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
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 of
love
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. On the one hand,
money
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 is becoming more and more important for
people
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 because nowadays everything is related to
money
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. That's why a large number of
people
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 are leaving the
profession
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 they
love
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 and are interested in
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 jobs.
On the other hand
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, a lot of
people
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 prefer their hobby to a high-paying job because it helps them become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hard-working
professor
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professors
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. Take an example, if doctors do not
love
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 their work, they may not be able to help their patients.
As a result
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, citrus fruits can be harmful to your health. In conclusion, from my point of view, everyone should do what they
love
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.
In addition
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 to that, only
then
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, in the future, qualified specialists can grow. But
people
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also
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 need
money
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, so it is necessary to choose a
profession
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 considering both, and his
profession
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 should be his hobby.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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