IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Do you agree or disagree?

#school #university #people #job #career #love #salary
Today, most teenagers try to select a job that they like and that pays more.
This
 essay agrees that a student should pursue a
profession
 of their
love
 because
this
 path will help them become a professional worker.
First
 of all,
money
 is important to humanity.
Second
 of all, men must do their
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
 of
love
. On the one hand,
money
 is becoming more and more important for
people
 because nowadays everything is related to
money
. That's why a large number of
people
 are leaving the
profession
 they
love
 and are interested in
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 jobs.
On the other hand
, a lot of
people
 prefer their hobby to a high-paying job because it helps them become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard-working
professor
Fix the agreement mistake
professors
show examples
. Take an example, if doctors do not
love
 their work, they may not be able to help their patients.
As a result
, citrus fruits can be harmful to your health. In conclusion, from my point of view, everyone should do what they
love
.
In addition
 to that, only
then
, in the future, qualified specialists can grow. But
people
also
 need
money
, so it is necessary to choose a
profession
 considering both, and his
profession
 should be his hobby.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!