IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #enjoable #job #money #salary #life
There is a wider debate about whether an occupation should be selected based on likeness or depending on the income that it generates. I agree with the view that vocation should be chosen on the person's preference of that area and should not be influenced by how much capital he can earn. On
one
 hand, the reason behind some people agreeing with the idea that job satisfaction can be overlooked for higher pay is driven by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greed for wealth. Owning a lot of cash would open up many privileges and would compensate for the unhappy working hours.
However
,
this
 concept is destructive in the long run. The unhappy work environment leads to stress, which in turn would have an adverse bearing on mental and physical well-being. The term, " money can't buy happiness", remains true to
this
 date.
On the other hand
, the positive effects of a satisfying job would be far greater even if the income is not so.
Firstly
, a field
a
Correct pronoun usage
which a
show examples
person feels at ease would allow the person to unlock his or her potential and be creative.
Thus
, allowing them to excel in their respective field. And in time to come, they would climb the ladder to secure a
higher paying
Add a hyphen
higher-paying
show examples
 assignment.
For example
, a science researcher who starts with a smaller salary would grow into owning
multimillion
Correct article usage
a multimillion
show examples
 research company, because they have given their whole strength to improve in the field they love.
Furthermore
, all jobs have areas in that money can never be valued,
such
 as community recognition, and appreciation. In a nutshell, owning a job
one
 love despite a
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
 salary than slaving unhappily for luxury pay.
This
 is because, to excel in
one
's career, and to have less work-related stress,
one
 should be content with
one
's profession.
Therefore
, a piece of advice for the younger generation is to do what you love doing and don't allow bills to change your path.
Submitted by ghm_day on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: