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Band 5

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

#people #access #computers #children #video #games
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These days more citizens have obtained access to electronic
games
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 and
vast
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a vast
the vast
show examples
 number of adolescents have
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 pleasure playing
computarized
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computerized
games
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. The main
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benefits
benefit
benefis
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benefits
 of
this
Linking Words
 are acquiring great
skills
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 on computers and learning academic subjects;
however
Linking Words
, the drawbacks are lack of social
skills
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 and isolation. Playing electronic
games
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 might benefit some
children
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 by acquiring great
skills
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 on computers because they spend so many hours playing
this
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.
Firstly
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, adolescents are not afraid of turning on computers or electronic devices and they learn many
skills
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 on how to manage
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this electronic devices
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this electronic device
these electronic devices
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, so they
seem
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toseem
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familiarize
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familiar
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 with laptops or electronic
games
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.
Furthermore
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, some of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 video
games
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 have great academic materials that help them to improve
grades
Correct pronoun usage
their grades
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 at school. They learn how to memorize complex concepts in a fun way that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 school more enjoyable.
For instance
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, In The United States,
children
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 who start
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kindergarten
kindergarden
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kindergarten
 have
a
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apply
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free access to an app
call
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called
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 " Seasame Street"
this
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 is a bilingual app that
help
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helps
show examples
 them to improve
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English
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english
Correct pronoun usage
their english
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 and memorize the alphabet in a pleasant way.
However
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, one can not be blind and ignore that some of these
children
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 tend to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
social
skills
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 by playing so many hours
computerized
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of computerized
show examples
 video
games
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.
Although
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this
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 might help them, some of these pre-teens do not like to talk to each other, so they have no idea how to start a natural conversation. Another drawback is that many of them ended up suffering from isolation because they have not met other people to get along with. More importantly, some of them need
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psychological
phychological
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psychological
 help to teach them how to start a friendship with other
children
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. To explain
further
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, in California many teenagers suffer from depression because they spend too
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many
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may
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many
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 hours playing
playstation
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PlayStation
 that they have no social relationships with people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their age, so
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
this
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 situation
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
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 into a disease. To conclude, having
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access
acces
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access
 to computerized
games
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 might be
great
Add an article
a great
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 way to improve some computer
skills
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;
however
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,
this
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be
with
Change preposition
within
show examples
 a
limit
Replace the word
limited
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 time to avoid suffering from isolation or losing the ability
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to communicate with others.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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