IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is thought that being rewarded with a high income is more significant than being satisfied with your career. Despite the pros and cons of each view, I agree with prioritizing job satisfaction above income. To commence with, people who are getting paid higher salaries have various commitments and huge responsibilities.
In addition
, workers might suffer from anxiety and stress due to the
work
 situation that places them under pressure
thus
 leading to quitting their
work
 or struggling with daily tension.
For instance
,
although
 a managerial position is well paid,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
 it requires dedication and willingness to
work
 extra hours to be able to manage and control the workflow,
therefore
 it is noticed that a lot of managers seek medical advice
as a result
 of continuous headaches and tensions.
Moreover
, being satisfied with your career creates a pathway toward accomplishing your goal and success in life. An employee who is well appreciated and supported by his colleagues and managers has the ability to
work
 more efficiently
consequently
 leading to his promotion.
Besides
, a supportive environment encourages workers toward working harder and being excited to accomplish their tasks rather than complaining about the pressure and running away from their responsibilities. To sum up, salary has a major contribution on employees execution,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 their success can't be achieved without satisfaction in their career. In my opinion, job fulfilment overweighs workers' income and a job seeker should always consider the duties and responsibilities
besides
 the salary provided.
Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: