IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security. But others believe that people cannot always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security #jobs
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Nowadays, almost everyone wants to find a suitable
job
Use synonyms
 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, whether the
work
Use synonyms
 position is
security
Replace the word
secure
show examples
, if they can
work
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 for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time and how
Add the particle
to satisfy
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satisfy
Change the form of the verb
satisfied
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 with their
job
Use synonyms
 is a controversial problem. In my opinion, what we need most is not only a
job
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but safety and enjoy in so that we can
work
Use synonyms
 for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the hand, some people think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 on whether they are happy when they are working
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enough, but ignore
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 is
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 or not. That means
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness is more important than
secure
Replace the word
security
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 like
advanture
Correct your spelling
adventure
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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,
such
Linking Words
 as diving tutor,
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 is
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 risk, but they love it for the sample reason
is feel
Change the verb form
feels
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happiness
Replace the word
happy
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 and enjoying despite
Correct article usage
the dangerous
show examples
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, somebody
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that they would
unhappy
Add a missing verb
be unhappy
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 when working
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
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 position for a long time.
For example
Linking Words
, cashier or operator is the type of
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
. People will
boring
Change the verb form
bore
be boring
show examples
 after several months since they have to do
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 things every single day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will lose their
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
enthusiasum
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
 very quickly. Withing developed technology, I think many jobs will be disappeared.
Particulely
Correct your spelling
Particularly
 some jobs that repetitive should be replaced. We’d better continue learning
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
 and skills that we
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in. It is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 way to find a suitable
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. Not only benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ourselves, but
also
Linking Words
 for whole the society. When we have a permanent
job
Use synonyms
 which we like to do, we will be happy with it. In conclusion, it is not easy to get a permanent career, especially can make
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 enjoy
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
. So to improve skills and technology is very important.
Submitted by kevin. B on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. **Job Satisfaction**: Fulfillment, pleasure, gratification, contentment, happiness at work, engaging work, meaningful work, passionate career.
  • 2. **Job Security**: Stability, permanence, steady income, financial security, long-term employment, dependable employment, stability in the workplace.
  • 3. **Work-Life Balance**: Equilibrium, harmonious work-life, time management, personal time, family time, balance between professional and personal life.
  • 4. **Mental Health**: Well-being, psychological health, stress reduction, emotional health, workplace happiness.
  • 5. **Professional Growth**: Career advancement, skill development, learning opportunities, professional development, personal growth.
  • 6. **Economic Conditions**: Job market, employment rates, economic stability, financial climate, recession, economic downturn.
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