IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people lived in the same place in their life. However, it is common that now people change their place and often live in different places during their life. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #place #life #change #places #development
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To choose
Change the verb form
Choosing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 suitable
life
place
 is one important problem that many
people
 face.
However
, whether they need to
change
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 is a controversial issue. In my opinion,
people
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
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move
the
Change the word
their
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 address when they
change
 their
jobs
 to other cities, it is a positive mind. Nowadays, lots of
people
 who live in
this
 full of
competitive
Add an article
the competitive
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 world are working hard every day. Sometimes, they have to
change
 their
jobs
. The salaries that they earn
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a crucial role to play. Sometimes the new
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 is
Change preposition
in at
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at
Correct your spelling
a
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different
Add an article
the different
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 city since they have to remove their address even with their whole family members. To move and live in
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 is extremely important for them because they could get higher benefits or more opportunities
of
Change preposition
in
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 their
jobs
.
Therefore
,
this
 situation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 becoming more and more common.
In addition
, to
change
other
Change the wording
another place
other places
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place
 can help them to build new
society
Replace the word
social
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 communication and
also
 can make their family members expand their horizons. They can learn
different
Change preposition
about different
show examples
 cultures, traditions and lifestyles.
For example
, if they move to other countries, their children can study at
local
Correct article usage
a local
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
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 language and get new friends. It is useful and a good way for them to improve their studies and
societies
Replace the word
social
show examples
 skills. Some
people
 even need to
change
 their
place
 several times during their
life
. The simple reason is that they are creating more benefits for their family in the future. That means if they don’t want to
change
 anything, maybe they will do the same basic job all their
life
, as well they couldn’t get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to
change
 their
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 standard.
In addition
, changing the
place
 where they live is a positive decision. It depends on if
people
 want to get
better
Add an article
a better
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life
 for themselves or their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Submitted by kevin. B on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocation
  • Globalization
  • Career advancement
  • Personal growth
  • Technological advancements
  • Mobility
  • Urbanization
  • Quality of life
  • Cultural diversity
  • Family dynamics
  • Work-life balance
  • Environmental conditions
  • Global mobility
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Lifestyle preferences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: