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the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010

#percentage #australian #men #women #age #group #activity
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
 of different
ages
 male and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who do
exercises
Wrong verb form
exercised
show examples
 regularly in Australia in 2010. Overall, it is clear that the
proportion
 of Australian
women
did
Correct pronoun usage
who did
show examples
 exercises regularly is larger than that of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 the age
groups
 from 15 to 24. That of the
proportion
 of
men
 from 15 to 24 is the largest among all
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
that is
 in different age
groups
. In terms of
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of Australian
women
 who did
sports
. That of the female
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ages
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 are between 45 to 54 did more
sports
 than other
women
, at 53.3%. The percentage of
women
ages
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55 to 64 comes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
, with 53%
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 doing exercises. The percentage of these
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 age
groups
 are similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each other. With regard to the
proportion
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 activities
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
 regularly in Australia. That of the youngest
men
 among those
groups
 are the
men
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
 doing
sports
 most.
In contrast
, the
men
 whose
ages
 are between 35 and 44
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the least significant.
Submitted by chenyanbing668 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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