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Band 5.5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is argued that earning a good life has more meaning to people than
job
 satisfaction. I take an opposing view and I believe that other aspects of the profession should take priority over earning money. To commence with,contentment with the
job
 is a contributing factor to motivation at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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. If a person does not feel satisfied with what is doing every day ,can not move up the ladder fast and make progress. Clearly, without the feeling of
improvement
Add a comma
,improvement
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 the individuals will not be content even if they are paid well.
For example
, there are many artists that are not famous or rich but they find happiness in their profession as they can create something
Correct your spelling
valuable
valuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 and get more professional as time passes.
Furthermore
, making a fortune can not guarantee
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commitment to a
job
 if employees work in
an unfavourable working conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
unfavourable working conditions
an unfavourable working condition
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.Since most people who earn bigger incomes are under considerable pressure and have heavy workloads,
this
 might lead to anxiety and depression.
Moreover
, many people work overtime to earn more money which keeps them away from family and friends.
For instance
, according to a survey that was published in an American newspaper, more than 70% of employees who resigned were not content with their
job
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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. To conclude ,
Correct your spelling
although
athough
Correct your spelling
although
 salary is an important factor for gratification, it is not the most important one. It is clear that without feeling happy at
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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,
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 will not make fast
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 and will not be eager to continue their
job
 even though they are paid well.
Submitted by m_sepahi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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