Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Employees should have at least a one-month

holiday

Use synonyms

yearly to get enthusiastic and do a great job in their offices . It would be better if the

work

Use synonyms

manager

gives

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

his team 30 days per year just to encourage them to innovate in their jobs .

This

Linking Words

essay will argue why giving

such

Linking Words

a long

holiday

Use synonyms

is not always appropriate . Generally, most corporates give 4 weeks'

holiday

Use synonyms

annually and it is subdivided into different terms. Maybe some take a maternity or paternity

holiday

Use synonyms

, others need sick leave and some people sometimes take an ordinary vacation just because they are stressed and they need a break.

Such

Linking Words

long

holidays

Use synonyms

are favoured for most people because they believe that it`s important to relieve and get your stress out , so

this

Linking Words

allows you to regenerate your energy and be able to be creative in your

work

Use synonyms

and productive .

For example

Linking Words

, there are some studies that have stated that 90% of people who are working on a daily basis ; fall into a deep depression in the long term , as they feel that they are just working machines

as well as

Linking Words

they do not enjoy their life .

Thus

Linking Words

, It is absolutely

substantial

Correct word choice

important

show examples

to make sure that the workers have enough time to entertain their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Taking a long period of

holiday

Use synonyms

is important .

However

Linking Words

, it may cause some problems in

work

Use synonyms

besides

Linking Words

lowering productivity. Because of long-term

holidays

Use synonyms

, some employees will be lazy sometimes and will try to find excuses to get the utmost benefit of these

holidays

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

, in busying working days if a huge number of workers took a long term vacation ,

this

Linking Words

would lead to a shortage in the manpower ,

sequently

Correct your spelling

consequently

it would affect the productivity negatively .

For instance

Linking Words

, I have seen some articles which declared that the major reason for the shortage in the labour force is

due to

Linking Words

long-term breaks .

Therefore

Linking Words

, employment should put some measures to control these long galas or limit them by law .

To conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay argued why it is serious to

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

about long-time

holidays

Use synonyms

because it has some bad impacts on the

work

Use synonyms

in the future . In my opinion , I slightly disagree with that. The occupation should limit a one-month

holiday

Use synonyms

per year to 2 weeks annually to avoid job problems and labour shortages which will definitely lead to economic stagnation if it spreads in the corners of the country .

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented to reflect the overall argument.

Task Achievement

The essay should provide a more comprehensive response that addresses the full scope of the prompt and include more specific and relevant examples to support the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

419 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Recharge
Productivity
Job performance
Motivation
Morale
Work-life balance
Job satisfaction
Creativity
Innovation
Employee loyalty
Turnover rates
Continuity
Redistribution of workload
Disruption
Efficiency

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Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?