Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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television and in computer games is very common, the society said it but, is it a problem?

Firstly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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violence

Use synonyms

is something

Correct your spelling

that

tha

Correct your spelling

that

happens since

ever

Correct your spelling

every

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and every animal in the world is a danger but what about

the

Correct article usage

apply

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human

Change the punctuation

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The human

Correct article usage

Human

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is the most

Correct your spelling

intelligent

inteligent

Correct your spelling

intelligent

animal in the world but

also

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

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the most violent animal because

Unnecessary verb

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the animal that kills more than all so we can see people that love

the

Correct article usage

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violence

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

if you see the TV or play a videogame you can see

violence

Use synonyms

everywhere your favourite sport is so dangerous but lots of people just said he loves the team when he is

hiting

Correct your spelling

hitting

hiding

to the rival or when you play on the computer you kill lot's and lot's of animals there is no matter if you are underage you

also

Linking Words

can be the problem. In

Correct your spelling

show examples

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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violence

Use synonyms

is not really necessary in order to be happy but the TV and the videogames

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

say the same because if there isn't blood it will fail and isn't interesting so

that

Correct word choice

apply

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in my opinion

the

Correct article usage

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society is very violent so

that

Correct word choice

apply

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you have to help and say the

violence

Use synonyms

is not

necesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

be careful with the animals and don't be part of the problem

Submitted by ismael.222sr on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transported long distances . Do benefits of this trend outweigh disadvantages

Some people think that exams are a good way of assessing a student’s level. Other people believe that they put unnecessary pressure on young learners and tell us very little about their actual ability. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit.

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibilities to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, other argue that consumers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging Discuss both views and give your opinion