Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

the

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violence

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the

Correct article usage

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television and in computer games is very common, the society said it but, is it a problem?

Firstly

the

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violence

is something

Correct your spelling

that

tha

Correct your spelling

that

happens since

ever

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every

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and every animal in the world is a danger but what about

the

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human

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The human

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Human

show examples

is the most

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intelligent

inteligent

Correct your spelling

intelligent

animal in the world but

also

Unnecessary verb

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the most violent animal because

Unnecessary verb

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the animal that kills more than all so we can see people that love

the

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apply

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violence

for example

if you see the TV or play a videogame you can see

violence

everywhere your favourite sport is so dangerous but lots of people just said he loves the team when he is

hiting

Correct your spelling

hitting

hiding

to the rival or when you play on the computer you kill lot's and lot's of animals there is no matter if you are underage you

also

can be the problem. In

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opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

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the

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apply

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violence

is not really necessary in order to be happy but the TV and the videogames

not

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do not

did not

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say the same because if there isn't blood it will fail and isn't interesting so

that

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apply

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in my opinion

the

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society is very violent so

that

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apply

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you have to help and say the

violence

is not

necesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

be careful with the animals and don't be part of the problem

Submitted by ismael.222sr on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

216 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time the population of some country include large number of young adult compared with no of older people do ou think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below shows a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the maps information by selecting and reporitng the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.