Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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In our society, it is very common for children and young
people
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to watch and play violent
video
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games
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, nowadays, many
people
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meet to play and watch
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
video
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games
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, but is it a good thing or a bad thing?
That is
Linking Words
why in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will examine the pros and cons and I will come to a conclusion. Actually. the most famous
video
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games
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are the violent ones
,
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apply
show examples
since many
people
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believe that they are more fun than normal
video
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games
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, and like all
video
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games
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you can talk with
people
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from all over the world, but how can
this
Linking Words
be good?
well
Add the punctuation
,well
show examples
this
Linking Words
is a good thing because when you talk to
people
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from other places you can learn and improve a language.
Also
Linking Words
playing
video
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games
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you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reduce your stress level, because you enjoy every minute
playing
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of playing
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alone or with your friends.
Although
Linking Words
it may seem incredible, it is not, because the biggest disadvantage is that you can lose a lot of money and be addicted to videogames In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
a game cannot be defined
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
person you are because all humans are different and it gave me
a
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
good advice, which is that you can not only learn with teachers, you can learn by playing.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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