Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

In modern society, a considerable proportion of citizens prefer to live in the
city
centre due to a number of better job opportunities and
this
had led to overpopulation in a particular
area
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some people argue that altering the
loactions
Correct your spelling
locations
of big
firms
and factories along with their employees to the rural regions can mitigate the rising problems. In my opinion, I am convinced that
this
measure can address
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
traffic
and residence problems. At the outset, the number of
private
Add an article
the private
a private
show examples
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
show examples
will
drasctically
Correct your spelling
drastically
decrease as soon as the large enterprises are moved to the upside
area
. Undoubtedly, the main reason for which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
to
metropolitain
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
cities is to land a prestige job. Most of the widely known companies are located in the capital
city
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
google company located in New York and Samsung in Seoul. When the location of these well-known companies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
Correct your spelling
transferred
tranfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
to rural areas, myriads of candidates who are keen to become a member will no longer have reasons for them to live in the
city
.
Thus
, as the population dwindles, obviously the
traffic
congestion will likely be eased.
In addition
to the
traffic
issues, there will be
plentty
Correct your spelling
plenty
of spaces in which for people to live in the urban
area
when the
firms
are moved to the countryside. There is no doubt that large
firms
recruit tonnes of employees compared to other small companies in order to meet their needs.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
the
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
point of view, when their workplace is moved to a remote
area
, which requires long
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
hours from their residences, it will be hard for them to endure
such
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
unless they chose to live close to their working places.
Therefore
, lots of
city
dwellers will give up living in the metropolis, resulting in a
Correct your spelling
increase
decrease
lncrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
housing areas. In conclusion, as the job opportunity consists the most in
attrackting
Correct your spelling
attracting
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
to come and live in the
city
, I am
firmly
Replace the adverb
firm
show examples
of the opinion that when the
firms
are distributed to rural places, not only is the
traffic
jam but housing
Correct your spelling
concerns
concers
Correct your spelling
concerns
will
also
be soon mitigated.
Submitted by clara_you on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: