IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.

#children #respect #parents #behaviour #impact #society
In
this
 present day and age, almost every
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 does not get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
children
, and from my
vision
Add a comma
,vision
show examples
 there are many reasons
reasch
Correct your spelling
reach
 us to
this
 point. Nowadays, our
children
 have
unlimetd
Correct your spelling
unlimited
 access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media, and as we know nobody can control the content
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media, and sometimes the content
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 some
Correct your spelling
behaviour
behaviours
behavioure
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 not related to our culture, and our
children
 can not
decided
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 is
this
 good or not, and only they
are repeat
Change the verb form
are repeating
show examples
 it " Monkey see monkey do". Our Mohamed messenger
instruct
Change the verb form
instructs
show examples
 us to teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age, and from his
instruction
Add a comma
,instruction
show examples
 we have to choose our
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
freind
Correct your spelling
friends
 to avoid any negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 from them.
In addition
, for the above
point
Add a comma
,point
show examples
 the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
Correct your spelling
behaviour
behavioural
behavioure
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 get affected when the
parents
 have more
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do not have time to teach all of them, and for sure
this
 will be
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
show examples
. One of my
Correct your spelling
friend
friends
freind
Correct your spelling
friends
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 ten
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
, and the difference between each one and the other is only two years, for that reason my
Correct your spelling
friend
freind
Correct your spelling
friends
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 have time to set with them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and teach them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
 because
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 mind and
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 attitude. In
Correct your spelling
the
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 past, our
parents
Correct your spelling
teach
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 us how to
respect
 any person elder than us, and we have to
assumed
Change the verb
assume
show examples
 them
our
Change preposition
as our
show examples
parents
.
Finally
, we have to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology to help us for teaching our
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
,
for example
 choosing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 TV
Correct your spelling
programme
program
programm
Correct your spelling
programme
,
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 control on their phone to stop any negative content, and
instruct
Wrong verb form
instructing
show examples
 them
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to do
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by ieltsfay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: