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Band 5.5

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #children #skills #car #maintenance #bank #account #management #subjects
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It is claimed that
schools
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 should teach their
students
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 not only academic subjects but
also
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 practical
skills
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 for living. I totally disagree with the idea mentioned for the following reasons.
Firstly
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 and the most important reason to argue against the idea that
schools
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 should have responsibility for teaching practical
skills
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 to
students
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 is that children spend limited times of their lifespan in
schools
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. So as it is obvious,
schools
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 need to have them learn a large amount of fundamental
knowledge
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such
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 as biology, and mathematics, which are included in their curriculum. The second reason is that
students
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 need to be nurtured and self-reliant in order to face their difficulties in the future.
This
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 means there are many obstacles that they need to
pass
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
 by struggling and endeavouring to build their own personality. If teachers teach every single skill
besides
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 academic
knowledge
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 to
students
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, they will always need someone to tell them how to meet their needs and in
this
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 ,way they cannot survive in society easily.
Additionally
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, children acquire practical
skills
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 easily by being in a society with no prior
knowledge
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. These
skills
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 are not limited and
schools
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 cannot teach all of them to their
students
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.
For instance
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, elderly people never participated in classes to learn how to open a bank account or how to maintain a car. They have learned these
skills
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 by experiencing and self-studying. And
last
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not
Correct word choice
but not
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 least,
besides
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schools
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, there are infinitive ways of learning
skills
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 like reading manuals of instruments, magazines and documentary programs rather than wasting the school’s time. In summary, I believe that school time is restricted and it should be spent on academic education rather than some insignificant
skills
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 that can be acquired easily by
thousand
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a thousand
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 manners.
Although
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 children need to learn these
skills
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 to accommodate their
daily-routine
Correct your spelling
daily routine
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 needs,
schools
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 are responsible
to teach
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for teaching
show examples
 them fundamental
knowledge
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 to have them on the right career path in their adulthood.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Provide stronger supporting examples to enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to convey ideas.
grammatical range
Improve sentence structure and grammar accuracy.
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