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Writing Samples
Band 5

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Some people think it is right to exclude males and females from certain professions because of their gender. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#women #men #strengths #weaknesses #people #right #males #females #professions #gender
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Women
 and
men
 have their difference. Even though
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 of us
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the freedom of choice in terms of employment today, I still believe some jobs should be assigned excluded to certain
gender
 respectively.
First
 of all, assigning some professions to one
gender
 only can make the workplace fair and equal.
Women
 or
men
 do not need to worry about the pressure from the genetic level.
For example
,
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 female 100 meters world record could not rank
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 10 in the male 100 meters world record, it will be unfair for a woman to defeat her male counterpart in the same race competition.
Moreover
, it could
also
 decrease office conflicts to a certain extent. The general public is more and more sensitive to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
 differentiation these days. And office frictions are more likely to escalate if the two parties are
men
 and
women
.
As a result
, some company owners might unwillingly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
hire a certain
gender
 to avoid unpredictable troubles, while
men
 and
women
 are
fear
Replace the word
fearful
show examples
 to cooperate with each other even regarding business. Admittedly, I agree with those who claim that each individual
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own potential. Stereotype judgements on someone’s capacity based on their
gender
 is a prejudice.
However
,
this
 will make the world less
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
 as well.
For example
, some human resource departments interview candidates only from famous universities to save time and lower the risk of misjudgement.
Similarly
,
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
gender
 division could achieve the same results and contribute to the overall productivity of the whole society. In sum, to achieve certain equity and efficiency, distributing professions exclusively to a certain
gender
 is necessary.
Submitted by baoyiran019 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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