IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the recent world, many
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to take vacations to be away from daily
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to leave their daily lives behind and go travelling or camping in faraway lands. The other group of men and women want to stay
home
Use synonyms
 and do chores. I believe there are major two
key
Correct word choice
apply
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merits for the former way of spending
offtime
Correct your spelling
off time
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, namely its economic contributions and its power to revitalize societies. First and foremost, proactive
travellng
Correct your spelling
travelling
 of
citzens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 incurs significant economic benefits to the society they belong.
For instance
Linking Words
, when men and women drive to rural areas and stay
hotels
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in hotels
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 in the town, it will create good revenue opportunities
to
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for
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 the hotel business, nearby
reastaurants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and gas stations. They may buy some
suveniors
Correct your spelling
souvenirs
 as well,
then
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 the shops near tourist spots can earn profits. As
such
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, when vacationers move and spend resources, they contribute to the economy of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as a whole. If
people
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 were just staying at
home
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clearning
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clearing
 their houses,
this
Linking Words
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 never happen.
Secondly
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, visiting remote places will give
people
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 an occasion to make
acquintances
Correct your spelling
acquaintances
 with faraway places.
For example
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, they can learn different cultures than their own, they are able to experience new foods, and their mindset may change as well.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will contribute to the revitalization of societies.
Ths
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 will never happen if
people
Use synonyms
 do not go out for vacations and stay with
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 family members and, same the meals at
home
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.
As
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In
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion from the above analysis, I believe spending vacations in unfamiliar places has huge
benfits
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benefits
. Tourists can create wealth in remote lands and travellers can develop their lifetime learning by meeting new
people
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 and
visting
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visiting
 unknown spots. It is sometimes good to stay
home
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 and just relax but
overall
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, governments should encourage
people
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 to take long holidays and travel
domestic
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to domestic
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 and overseas destinations, by which, countries can push up GDP and obtain more
active minded
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active-minded
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 citizens.

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of going away on holidays, but the arguments lack depth and elaboration. Consider providing more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion by having an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow of ideas could be improved by structuring the arguments more clearly and connecting them effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • perspective
  • foster
  • broaden
  • creativity
  • well-being
  • memories
  • disconnecting
  • presence
  • educational
  • adventure
  • stress-reduction
  • quality time
  • outdoor activities
  • digital detox
  • historical insights
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