IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

llustration about how the people change its expectation of full-time education and its salary were making different after entering the workforce.

#llustration #people #change #expectation #education #salary #workforce
Illustration
Fix the agreement mistake
Illustrations
show examples
 about how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 its expectation of full-time education and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
salary were making
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 after entering the workforce. Here the graphics show the age on leaving full tie education, it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 us figures where is pretty relevant that most of 54% change for ages between 19 to 21
years
 old, followed
likewise
 in the range with 18% concerning to 16 to 18 and 19% concerning to 22 to 24.
Finally
, before 16 and after 24
years
 old present us insignificant percentages. Meanwhile,
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
imagen
Correct your spelling
image
show examples
 is presenting us, how is the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of the average salary two
years
 after leaving
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, where the columns have as
outcome
Add an article
an outcome
the outcome
show examples
 that the most productive age to earn money is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
22 to 24
years
 old, and very closer are two ranges 19 to 21 and ages after 24
years
 old. The series between 16 to 18 presents a little decrease and
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 the
last
 series is before 16 being what less has profits as salary
Submitted by iqmiguelangel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: