IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others hold that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#directors #organizations #salaries #employees #people
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There has been a contentious topic about whether it is necessary for
managers
 working for large corporations to be paid much higher wages in comparison with normal
employees
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will
first
 analyze both camps before giving my own opinions. Some people hold a firm belief that directors should earn
a better salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better salary
better salaries
show examples
 than lower-level
employees
.
This
 is due to the huge amount of work that a manager
have
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has
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 to take care of. Not only do they have to maintain the work efficiency of themselves, but
also
 of their
employees
 as well.
Consequently
, bosses have to put in more effort in comparison with their subordinates. Another factor that should not be ignored is that a lot of big corporations require their candidates to have an outstanding background before applying
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the manager position.
Therefore
,
managers
 would certainly have a huge knowledge and experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the field that they are working
right
Change preposition
in right
show examples
 now;
hence
, it is fair for them to have
a higher salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher salaries
a higher salary
show examples
 than their
employees
. Others stand their ground on the idea that it is unfair for
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 to be paid less than their
managers
. Their argument is based on the fact that businesses can not operate without their staff;
therefore
, ordinary staff should be treated the same as their bosses. Big corporations nowadays can have their number of staffs reaching thousands, and the majority of
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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are
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is
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 normal
employees
.
Therefore
, their importance should not be overlooked by employers, and they should be paid equally
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
managers
. It is true that the importance of ordinary
employees
 should not be underestimated.
However
, I strongly agree that directors should be paid more, thanks to the huge effort that they have to put
on
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into
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 their work, as well as the enormous effort that they can provide to their firm.
Submitted by anhdung3092001 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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