You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-years-old child. write a letter to the parents.In your letter . explain why you would like the job . give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ . say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #six-years-old #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

I am writing to you regarding the advertisement in the Australian magazine.Let me explain more in detail. I decided to take a new job in my free time.I had been working as baby sitter from 2019 until 2021 because I really enjoy with them.

Furthermore

, I used to study baby care so I think

this

job is very suitable for me.

For instance

, improving culture and keeping their bodies with exercise or healthy food is completely amazing for me.

Moreover

, if I want

talk

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to talk

show examples

about my free time I should say I am used to studying

roughly

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for roughly

show examples

four

Correct your spelling

hours

show examples

houres

Correct your spelling

hours

show examples

and

also

I am playing Football every day.

However

, I was working in a hospital until 1 month ago but today I have

Correct determiner usage

some

show examples

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

free time so to

Correct your spelling

illustrate

illustraste

Correct your spelling

illustrate

this

point

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if you accept my request not only care

your

Change preposition

for your

show examples

children, but

also

I can teach

him

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Correct your spelling

culture

cultuer

Correct your spelling

culture

As a result

, you can confident

Change preposition

in me

show examples

so I have knowledge and

Correct your spelling

experience

experienc

Correct your spelling

experience

and I am

suitable

Add an article

a suitable

show examples

person to employ. Looking forward to receiving your reply. Yours faithfully, Saeed thorough.

Submitted by saeedforoghi538 on Wed Nov 02 2022

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

176 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owing a smartphone the disadvantages?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. while others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?