Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

In the current society, the influence of television shows and

computers

Change the noun form

computer

show examples

games

is one of the most debatable

subiects

Correct your spelling

subjects

show examples

While

a number of

people

believe that

televion

Correct your spelling

television

and video

games

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

show violent factors in society, I would argue that media

violence

has

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show examples

significant impact on

human's

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human

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. There are various compelling reasons why TV and digital

games

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

people

's behaviour.

Firstly

, harmful video

games

and TV shows might lead to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

violent

Change preposition

in violent

show examples

behaviour. Research has shown that exposure to

violence

in shows or

games

can create an increase in violent

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

in real

life

This

can increase the risk of aggressive

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, fighting or death.

Secondly

, when

people

are exposed to too many negative programs or

games

that

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

empathy.

This

is because

xposuring

Correct your spelling

exposing

violence

can reduce the ability to sympathize and empathize with others. Players may become cruel or indifferent to the feelings and pain of others.

On the other hand

people

exposed to

such

applications cause them to create a false perception of reality.

In other words

, violent programs or

games

can create a false perception of reality and influence opinion and player

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

This

can cause a loss of ability to distinguish between fact and fiction, causing negative consequences in real

life

Besides

, negative factors from TV shows and unhealthy

games

contribute to psychological impacts: Exposure to

violence

can cause psychological stress, anxiety,

pressure

Correct word choice

and pressure

show examples

and reduce the quality of

life

. one's

life

This

can affect human thinking,

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and social interactions.

Submitted by trancaomaitrang on Wed Nov 09 2022

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Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the given question and contribute to the overall argument. Avoid going off-topic or providing irrelevant information.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but there could be stronger connections between ideas and smoother transitions between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Try to use more advanced vocabulary and avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accurate and clear communication. Review your sentences for errors and consider varying sentence structures for better fluency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?