Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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In the current society, the influence of television shows and
computers
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computer
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games
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is one of the most debatable
subiects
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subjects
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.
While
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a number of
people
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believe that
televion
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television
and video
games
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which
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apply
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show violent factors in society, I would argue that media
violence
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has
an
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a
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significant impact on
human's
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human
show examples
Use synonyms
behavior
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behaviour
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. There are various compelling reasons why TV and digital
games
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adversly
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adversely
affects
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affect
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people
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's behaviour. 
Firstly
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, harmful video
games
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and TV shows might lead to
increase
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an increase
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violent
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in violent
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behaviour. Research has shown that exposure to
violence
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in shows or
games
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can create an increase in violent
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behavior
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behaviour
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in real
life
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.
This
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can increase the risk of aggressive
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, fighting or death.
Secondly
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, when
people
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are exposed to too many negative programs or
games
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that
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it
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reduce
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reduces
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empathy.
This
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is because
xposuring
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exposing
to
violence
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can reduce the ability to sympathize and empathize with others. Players may become cruel or indifferent to the feelings and pain of others. 
On the other hand
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,
people
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exposed to
such
Linking Words
applications cause them to create a false perception of reality.
In other words
Linking Words
, violent programs or
games
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can create a false perception of reality and influence opinion and player
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
can cause a loss of ability to distinguish between fact and fiction, causing negative consequences in real
life
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.
Besides
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, negative factors from TV shows and unhealthy
games
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contribute to psychological impacts: Exposure to
violence
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can cause psychological stress, anxiety,
pressure
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and pressure
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and reduce the quality of
life
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. one's
life
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.
This
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can affect human thinking,
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
and social interactions.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the given question and contribute to the overall argument. Avoid going off-topic or providing irrelevant information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but there could be stronger connections between ideas and smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Try to use more advanced vocabulary and avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accurate and clear communication. Review your sentences for errors and consider varying sentence structures for better fluency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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