Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#think #children #activities #video #games

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These days, almost every

types

Change to a singular noun

type

show examples

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

are popular. Some teenagers mostly spend

leisure

Correct pronoun usage

their leisure

show examples

time

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

or video games. In

this

Linking Words

essay, it will be considered about

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

benefits and drawbacks with examples.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, everyone ,especially teenagers, should play outside

activities

Use synonyms

for their health.

Besides

Linking Words

, in my

country

Add a comma

,country

show examples

there are all opportunities for

children

Use synonyms

to engage in

such

Linking Words

activities

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, there are gyms and stadiums equipped with modern

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, playing

sports

Use synonyms

in outside

activities

Use synonyms

help

children

Use synonyms

to have fun in connection with nature.

In addition

Linking Words

, again, it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

in a stressful state, tired of

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

. So it is useful for health.

For example

Linking Words

, for strong muscles and good brain function.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is necessary to play

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outdoor

sports

Use synonyms

to be healthy both mentally and physically.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, technologies are being updated day by day and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

make our life easier

that is

Linking Words

why many

children

Use synonyms

think that playing video games is easier than other

sports

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, it may be easy,

however

Linking Words

, they have their downsides.

For example

Linking Words

, it reduces the vision of the eye.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is a waste of time.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, almost 60 per cent of kids use it. The availability of other arguments

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

undeniable, but mentioning them is not worthy. In conclusion,

factors

Correct article usage

the factors

show examples

mentioned above show that outdoor

sports

Use synonyms

are more beneficial than video games in every way.

Also

Linking Words

, parents should encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to be active.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Nov 10 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
exercise and movement
social interaction
teamwork
communication skills
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
holistic approach
environmental awareness
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
posture
balance

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Your opinion

Many people believe that the government should spend money on helping undeveloped countries instead of spending money on increasing military strength, as they do not face risks of war.

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance tech which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The traffic and housing problems can be solved by moving the big industries, companies, factories and the employees from the major cities to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?