Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the development of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
, more and more
children
Use synonyms
like to
lay
Wrong verb form
lie
show examples
into the
Correct your spelling
couch
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cough
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couch
show examples
and watch
TV
Use synonyms
or play
games
Use synonyms
all day. Some experts think it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their mental health to stare
screens
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at screens
show examples
for a long
time
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, I
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definitely
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
agree with
this
Linking Words
view. In conclusion, there is a negative influence on
children
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who spend too much
time
Use synonyms
on
TV
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shows or video
games
Use synonyms
. The results are
lead
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led
show examples
by not only parents
,
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apply
show examples
but schools and the government. There are many disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Change noun form
children's
show examples
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
mental health.
Firstly
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, their academic
Correct your spelling
performances
performance
proformances
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performance
in school will be
Correct your spelling
affected
affacted
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affected
by too many leisure activities. As a student,
children
Use synonyms
usually need to spend
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most
show examples
almost
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most
show examples
of their
time
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and energy on courses which could help them in the future, like
mathmatics
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mathematics
, history and other subjects
instead
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of
TV
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series and digital
games
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.
Secondly
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, as we know, those
TV
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programs and
games
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are produced to attract adults,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means they always consist of some plots which are full of violence,
blooding
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blood
show examples
and sex. And
children
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like to
intimate
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be intimate
show examples
no matter what they see, which results that they will consider violence as a good way to solve problems and even
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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like the actors who are on the screens.
Undoubtely
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
, it is
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responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsbility
show examples
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
for
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of
show examples
their parents to
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limit
limite
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limit
kids watch
TV
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and play
games
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at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
time
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. But lots of parents are busy with their work and don't have enough
time
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and energy to accompany
with
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apply
show examples
their kids,
that is
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the primary reason for
this
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situation.
School
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Schools
show examples
also
Linking Words
need to do something for their students, including paying more attention to students' mental health, leading them to read books or do some sports
instead
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of just
watch
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watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
and teaching
Correct article usage
the skill
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
of conversation to encourage them
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
paly
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play
show examples
with others. At the same
time
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, it is necessary for the government to make some policies to make those companies who produce
TV
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programs and computer
games
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
limited
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
their programs.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • exposure to violence
  • addiction
  • reduced physical activity
  • hand-eye coordination
  • strategic thinking
  • multitasking skills
  • moderation
  • parental guidance
  • balanced approach
  • screen time
  • social interaction
  • sense of community
  • social skills
  • social isolation
  • alternative activities
  • outdoor activities
  • family interaction
  • mental health issues
  • educational programs
  • problem-solving games
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