Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of
technologies
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technology
show examples
, more and more
children
like to
lay
Wrong verb form
lie
show examples
into the
Correct your spelling
couch
show examples
cough
Correct your spelling
couch
show examples
and watch
TV
or play
games
all day. Some experts think it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their mental health to stare
screens
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at screens
show examples
for a long
time
, I
Correct your spelling
definitely
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
agree with
this
view. In conclusion, there is a negative influence on
children
who spend too much
time
on
TV
shows or video
games
. The results are
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
by not only parents
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but schools and the government. There are many disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Change noun form
children's
show examples
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
mental health.
Firstly
, their academic
Correct your spelling
performances
performance
proformances
Correct your spelling
performance
in school will be
Correct your spelling
affected
affacted
Correct your spelling
affected
by too many leisure activities. As a student,
children
usually need to spend
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
of their
time
and energy on courses which could help them in the future, like
mathmatics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
, history and other subjects
instead
of
TV
series and digital
games
.
Secondly
, as we know, those
TV
programs and
games
are produced to attract adults,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means they always consist of some plots which are full of violence,
blooding
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blood
show examples
and sex. And
children
like to
intimate
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be intimate
show examples
no matter what they see, which results that they will consider violence as a good way to solve problems and even
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
like the actors who are on the screens.
Undoubtely
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
, it is
Correct your spelling
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsbility
show examples
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
for
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of
show examples
their parents to
Correct your spelling
limit
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
kids watch
TV
and play
games
at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
time
. But lots of parents are busy with their work and don't have enough
time
and energy to accompany
with
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apply
show examples
their kids,
that is
the primary reason for
this
situation.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
also
need to do something for their students, including paying more attention to students' mental health, leading them to read books or do some sports
instead
of just
watch
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watching
show examples
TV
and teaching
Correct article usage
the skill
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
of conversation to encourage them
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
paly
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play
show examples
with others. At the same
time
, it is necessary for the government to make some policies to make those companies who produce
TV
programs and computer
games
Correct your spelling
limited
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
their programs.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • exposure to violence
  • addiction
  • reduced physical activity
  • hand-eye coordination
  • strategic thinking
  • multitasking skills
  • moderation
  • parental guidance
  • balanced approach
  • screen time
  • social interaction
  • sense of community
  • social skills
  • social isolation
  • alternative activities
  • outdoor activities
  • family interaction
  • mental health issues
  • educational programs
  • problem-solving games
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