Nuclear power is far too dangerous. Therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources of energy such as hydroelectric power, wind power, and solar energy. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.
The usage of nuclear
power
has a long history of danger
and disaster. Hence
, only several countries whose aware of the danger
but still using
it as Wrong verb form
use
energy
Add an article
an energy
producer
and Fix the agreement mistake
producers
the
other country Correct article usage
apply
using
safer Wrong verb form
use
kind
of alternative Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
sources
like solar energy
or wind power
.
Therefore
, I agree with the notion that using nuclear power
is far more dangerous and outweigh its benefit in long term
utility. Add a hyphen
long-term
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
with
the horror of nuclear usage history Change preposition
apply
such
as Hiroshima
and Nagasaki Correct article usage
the Hiroshima
bombing
in 1945 which make the city unhabitable until today. Fix the agreement mistake
bombings
Also
, Correct article usage
the Chernobyl
Chernobyl
reactor meltdown Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
killing
many of its Wrong verb form
kills
inhabitant
and has the same fate as Hiroshima and Nagasaki which are not Change to a plural noun
inhabitants
livable
for Correct your spelling
liable
an unknown decades
ahead.
Correct the article-noun agreement
unknown decades
an unknown decade
Additionally
, even if in Indonesia
we already had BATAN as national
nuclear body Add an article
a national
the national
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Add a missing verb
is run
run
by the government, Change the verb form
runs
Indonesia
still lack of
manpower with the only university that had nuclear courses as its main study is on Gajah Mada University in Yogyakarta. Remove the preposition
apply
Moreover
, with Indonesia
's position as tropical
country and abundant Correct article usage
a tropical
of
sun and wind especially Change preposition
apply
in
the beach, we have the benefit of using it as our main Change preposition
on
power
sources
. Fix the agreement mistake
source
Also
, we could educate people around it to preserves
it together and Wrong verb form
preserve
making
a more sustainable approach so they Wrong verb form
make
not
only Add a missing verb
do not
relying
on the government.
To concludeWrong verb form
rely
it
, I agree that Correct pronoun usage
apply
nuclear
Correct article usage
the nuclear
power
Change noun form
power's
danger
still outweigh
its benefit and Change the verb form
outweighs
Indonesia
already has abundant energy
sources
from the
solar and wind. The government and educated folks need to pay attention to it better and have Correct article usage
apply
Add an article
a more
more
better understanding Change the word
apply
to
how Change preposition
of to
put
Add the particle
to put
in
Correct your spelling
it
on
Change preposition
to
the
better use for the nation. Correct article usage
apply
Otherwise
, it would be a huge waste for Indonesia
and a possibility of danger
lurking if we still want to use nuclear as the main energy
sources
.Fix the agreement mistake
source
Submitted by ftm.zahroh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!