IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nuclear power is far too dangerous. Therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources of energy such as hydroelectric power, wind power, and solar energy. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#power #countries #ban #alternative #sources #energy #wind
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The usage of nuclear
power
 has a long history of
danger
 and disaster.
Hence
, only several countries whose aware of the
danger
 but still
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 it as
energy
Add an article
an energy
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producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other country
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 safer
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of alternative
sources
 like solar
energy
 or wind
power
.
Therefore
, I agree with the notion that using nuclear
power
 is far more dangerous and outweigh its benefit in
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 utility.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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with
Change preposition
apply
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the horror of nuclear usage history
such
 as
Hiroshima
Correct article usage
the Hiroshima
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 and Nagasaki
bombing
Fix the agreement mistake
bombings
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 in 1945 which make the city unhabitable until today.
Also
,
Correct article usage
the Chernobyl
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Chernobyl
Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
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 reactor meltdown
killing
Wrong verb form
kills
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 many of its
inhabitant
Change to a plural noun
inhabitants
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 and has the same fate as Hiroshima and Nagasaki which are not
livable
Correct your spelling
liable
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 for
an unknown decades
Correct the article-noun agreement
unknown decades
an unknown decade
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 ahead.
Additionally
, even if in
Indonesia
 we already had BATAN as
national
Add an article
a national
the national
show examples
 nuclear body
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Add a missing verb
is run
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run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
 by the government,
Indonesia
 still lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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manpower with the only university that had nuclear courses as its main study is on Gajah Mada University in Yogyakarta.
Moreover
, with
Indonesia
's position as
tropical
Correct article usage
a tropical
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 country and abundant
of
Change preposition
apply
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sun and wind especially
in
Change preposition
on
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 the beach, we have the benefit of using it as our main
power
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
.
Also
, we could educate people around it to
preserves
Wrong verb form
preserve
show examples
 it together and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a more sustainable approach so they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 only
relying
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
 on the government. To conclude
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, I agree that
nuclear
Correct article usage
the nuclear
show examples
power
Change noun form
power's
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danger
 still
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 its benefit and
Indonesia
 already has abundant
energy
sources
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar and wind. The government and educated folks need to pay attention to it better and have
Add an article
a more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
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better understanding
to
Change preposition
of to
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 how
put
Add the particle
to put
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in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better use for the nation.
Otherwise
, it would be a huge waste for
Indonesia
 and a possibility of
danger
 lurking if we still want to use nuclear as the main
energy
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
.
Submitted by ftm.zahroh on

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