Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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The general public usually claimed that

violence

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in media and diverse

entertainment

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such

Linking Words

as video games or television have a strongly negative effect on our society.

However

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, other people do not believe that statement is true for various reasons. Overall, both sides have good reasons to support their argument,

nevertheless

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, I wholeheartedly think that the presence of

violence

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in cultural pop provokes some issues ,especially for youngsters.

To begin

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with, I would like to point out that the standardization of

violence

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in society affects dramatically our behavior.

In other words

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, some media and newspapers attempt to make us believe that ,

currently

Replace the word

current

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society has never been much rough than ever, and

this

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fact presents

then

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a change in our lifestyle.

For instance

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, the purchase of alarm systems has soared significantly during the past decade, whilst, the amount of burglary remains steadily the same.

Furthermore

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, I must admit that

violence

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entertainment

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can give bad ideas to people

in particular

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underage individuals. Currently, in the major part of various TV shows, books or video games, the most preferred type of

entertainment

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are those with

violence

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and illegal things. It can be seen easily that it presents some concerns for youngsters because they can potentially be influenced by that in a negative way.

For example

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, there is a book written by Stephen King, which depicts the story of a shooting in a high school made by a student;

this

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novel gave to a male teenager the idea to do the same in the real life, which provokes obviously disastrous consequences. To sum up, media and

entertainment

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spread

violence

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dramatically,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

there are ongoing researches made by governments to prevent

this

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issue.

Submitted by apernot197 on Sat Nov 19 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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