IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #organizations #people #argue #bosses
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In many
companies
Add a comma
,companies
show examples
 the majority of bosses are elder
people
, though some
people
 believe that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation would be better. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion.
First
 of all, I think that
experience
 is the most important thing in a job.
Although
 someone has a lot of knowledge about his profession, without
experience
 he can’t manage the company.
For example
, many companies’ leaders are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elder
people
 who have years of
experience
.
Decision making
Add a hyphen
Decision-making
show examples
 is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason for
this
 topic. Even though young
people
 are more creative and quick learners, it will be difficult for them to make
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 which important for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of the company. Older
people
 can
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
 the situation and make better decisions than young
people
.
Therefore
, old
people
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better bosses than youngsters. In conclusion, elder
people
 are much administrative and have a lot of
experience
, so they can lead the company better.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
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