some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the contemporary world, a lot of directors facilitate to improve their employees, in order to, make them more competitive. One
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
way,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
them
subsides
Correct your spelling
subsidies
show examples
or perks to beneficial items like
gym
or treatment club and others. But, some people consider that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not exist upside sides.
This
essay will discuss both views On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perks can play a high role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the workforce, because it gives
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employee accurate aim and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them more
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
on the
job
.
Moreover
, the workers should maintain the work and life balance as well as it should develop their menthol health, due to
this
, they can be stronger along with more efficient in the
job
.
For example
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
training
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
in the
gym
or
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club, they
also
improve their capability of brain and it can lead to career progression along with
job
satisfaction.
In other words
, feeling positive is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the great ways to attain achievement
On the other hand
, the multitude of financial rewards is tough to hit and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time.
Furthermore
, it needs a lot of
requirement
Change the noun form
requirements
show examples
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
clothes or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
shoes and other substantial things for
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
. After all, the budget
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
training or increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
payments.
For instance
, the Kazakh company kaztransoil, recently they have increased payments for the staff, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
the company
included
Add a missing verb
was included
show examples
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
2 profitable companies in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kazakhstan. In conclusion, the
sport
gym
and leisure club can affect to
staffs
Change noun form
staff's
show examples
health body and psychological condition
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as this,
show examples
this
may serve as an opportunity to achieve more.
However
, the target-related payments should help grow employee motivation and performance
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: