Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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Governments are always needing to decide where to invest whether in arts,
such
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as music and theatre or public services.With the rise of
the
Correct article usage
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extremist parties the decision between where to invest is much more complex and even the balance about spending on entertainment and public services. It
is disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb disagreed in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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that investing in cultural
activities
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is a waste of money. Measuring the happiness and life quality of a population may tell a lot about the impact of investing in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

field.
Firstly
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, happiness is a critical thing in
a
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society and must be provided for the population. It is known that private companies provide paid events and entertainment for a lot of kinds of genre and contributes a lot dor the mental health of an environment.But not all
of
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the
Correct article usage
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people can afford it and the state has to take part
of
Change preposition
in

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it and
provide
Correct pronoun usage
itprovide

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.
This
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leads to the conclusion
that is
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necessary that governments invest in social events for a completely happier environment in all classes.
Secondly
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, for a good life
quality
Add a comma
,quality

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for a good life quality. Consider adding a comma.

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it is very important
the
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access to culture. In São Paulo,
for example
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, there is an event called "Virada cultural", it is a weekend full of concerts and cultural
activities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
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event is totally free and
all
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provided by the city for all of the people who want to go. ,
Notably
Add a comma
,Notably

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Notably. Consider adding a comma.

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this
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kind of initiative has a huge impact on
the
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society because will
equalequall
Correct your spelling
equal equal

If you don’t want equalequall to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
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access
of
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to

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information by all the wages classes. To summarise, investment in cultural
activities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

generates good impacts on the environment. Whether is important for governors to invest in other fields, with the disposed analysis cultural
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

generate a large amount of good impact on
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun society in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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society.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
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