Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Some

people

claim that violent video games and television would have a negative on

society

, while

others

believe that these things have little to no influence on how

people

behave. The world's violent content occasionally has a profound impact on

people

, inspiring them to harm

others

more than normal. Despite

this

, it does not influence those who do not have

such

intents from the start. The programs that are being put on television should take measures,

such

that they do not include extreme violence. Violent television shows or video games may make

people

who don't intend to injure

others

but are mentally unstable or have experienced particular circumstances have violent thoughts.

On the contrary

, currently,

such

violent video games are being played by millions of

people

all around the world and the majority of them have not inflicted any kind of harm

onto

Change preposition

show examples

others

. It may be argued that they only negatively impact a small portion of

society

as a whole. But, the damage caused by only a few

people

is serve

Change the verb form

is served

show examples

However

, if

people

are exposed to

such

violent actions, they might learn from them,

as a result

, gain awareness and take their own protective measures and be careful. In conclusion, the violence depicted in the media does not have dangerous effects on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, rather, it affects individuals who are not mentally healthy, giving them new ideas and maybe causing whatever harm that they may have already inflicted had there not been any violence in the media.

Therefore

, in my opinion, they do not significantly affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Submitted by trancaomaitrang on Sun Nov 27 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

260 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than Secondary school. Do the advantage of this outweight the disadvantages?

In some countries, School are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In the last century when a human astronaut arrived on the moon he said "it is a big step for mankind". But some people say it makes little or no difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

Companies should encourage emplooyes who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportinities to the new generation.To what extend do you agree or disagree?