Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Some
people
claim that violent video games and television would have a negative on society
, while others
believe that these things have little to no influence on how people
behave. The world's violent content occasionally has a profound impact on people
, inspiring them to harm others
more than normal. Despite this
, it does not influence those who do not have such
intents from the start. The programs that are being put on television should take measures, such
that they do not include extreme violence. Violent television shows or video games may make people
who don't intend to injure others
but are mentally unstable or have experienced particular circumstances have violent thoughts. On the contrary
, currently, such
violent video games are being played by millions of people
all around the world and the majority of them have not inflicted any kind of harm onto
Change preposition
on
others
. It may be argued that they only negatively impact a small portion of society
as a whole. But, the damage caused by only a few people
is serve
. Change the verb form
is served
However
, if people
are exposed to such
violent actions, they might learn from them, as a result
, gain awareness and take their own protective measures and be careful. In conclusion, the violence depicted in the media does not have dangerous effects on the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, rather, it affects individuals who are not mentally healthy, giving them new ideas and maybe causing whatever harm that they may have already inflicted had there not been any violence in the media. Therefore
, in my opinion, they do not significantly affect the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.Submitted by trancaomaitrang on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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