Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some
people
claim that violent video games and television would have a negative on
society
, while
others
believe that these things have little to no influence on how
people
behave. The world's violent content occasionally has a profound impact on
people
, inspiring them to harm
others
more than normal. Despite
this
, it does not influence those who do not have
such
intents from the start. The programs that are being put on television should take measures,
such
that they do not include extreme violence. Violent television shows or video games may make
people
who don't intend to injure
others
but are mentally unstable or have experienced particular circumstances have violent thoughts.
On the contrary
, currently,
such
violent video games are being played by millions of
people
all around the world and the majority of them have not inflicted any kind of harm
onto
Change preposition
on
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others
. It may be argued that they only negatively impact a small portion of
society
as a whole. But, the damage caused by only a few
people
is serve
Change the verb form
is served
show examples
.
However
, if
people
are exposed to
such
violent actions, they might learn from them,
as a result
, gain awareness and take their own protective measures and be careful. In conclusion, the violence depicted in the media does not have dangerous effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
, rather, it affects individuals who are not mentally healthy, giving them new ideas and maybe causing whatever harm that they may have already inflicted had there not been any violence in the media.
Therefore
, in my opinion, they do not significantly affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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