IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that is is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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A growing number of people are of the view that there is no necessity to apply for a position in other companies during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole life. Some of them believe in
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of having
such
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 experience. In my opinion, changing surroundings may improve skills, while it is a great chance to develop a personality itself. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, it is clear why some of us have never thought about an organisation change. It is always much easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 to have a
place
Use synonyms
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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team due to everyone
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 familiar.
For example
Linking Words
, a group of British scientists did
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research where they found that staying
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 job
place
Use synonyms
 for an extended time might prevent stress and burnout among employees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is always a fear that a new career
place
Use synonyms
 will not be as suitable as the previous
one
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 a psychological effect
which
Correct word choice
that which
show examples
 mind creates to save a person from
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 danger of
unknown
Correct article usage
the unknown
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some upsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 turning into a new professional
place
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. The
first
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
professional growth and an ability to open other sides of the career which could rise a general interest
of
Change preposition
in
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 a job. What is more, there is an opportunity to increase a salary, get a promotion or even build strong connections with new colleagues.
Second
Linking Words
, every new working
place
Use synonyms
 can be added to the future CV which is the key thing for young specialists who want to realise their ambitions. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 part of humanity can not find a reason why changing a company is vital, the other aspires to have
such
Linking Words
ability
Correct article usage
an ability
show examples
. Personally, if I had to make that choice, I would definitely hard work to have alternative work experience in my portfolio to become a great expert.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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