IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

#traffic #congestion #cities #measures
Over the past decades,
traffic
 congestion
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 one of the problems that many cities in the world
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Some people argue that one of the main causes for the issue is the total of automobile owners which has increased significantly. In my point of view, I agree with the statement so the following paragraphs will
be outlined
Wrong verb form
outline
show examples
my reasons and solutions.
To begin
 with, I believe that if the number of cars rises,
traffic
 jam
also
 increases. It can be seen from the number of
car
 reservations has grown continuously over the recent years, summarized and reported by many leading
car
 dealers and the news has been reported about the
traffic
 congestion
due to
 a lot of cars on the roads in many cities
such
 as Bangkok and Manila. To solve
this
 problem the
government
 should
have
Verb problem
take
show examples
 some measures to encourage people to use public transportation rather than a personal
car
.
First,
the
government
 have to control the price of public transportation in order to allow people to afford the services.
Second,
the authorities should extend bus routes to cover all the area around a city. Apart from encouraging public transport, the
government
 can increase
car
 tax and make a law to limit the number of cars per family
for slowing
Change preposition
to slow
show examples
 down of
car
 increase.
To sum up
, I agree with the statement that
car
 ownership has increased rapidly over the decades
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
big
traffic
 jams.
Therefore
, The
government
 have to
have
Verb problem
take
show examples
 some measures to tackle the issue.
Submitted by yying.saranya on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the causes of traffic congestion and suggests measures to reduce traffic in big cities. However, there is room for improvement in fully developing the ideas and providing more detailed solutions to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more substantial. Additionally, the connection between ideas within paragraphs could be strengthened to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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